World Environment Day was celebrated with great fervour and promises. But are you green or have the potential of turning green and not just from the food you ate from the neighbourhood dhaba? Take this special quiz to figure that out:

I. Which Indian animal is most on the verge of extinction?
a) Tiger
b) Rhinoceros
c) Cricketer
d) Honest politician

2. What is the composition of the air you breathe?
a) Mainly soot
b) Soot, automobile exhaust, and second-hand smoke
c) Oxygen, since you're admitted in a hospital with lung failure
d) You stopped breathing as it was injurious to your health

3. The water you drink constitutes of….
a) Sewage, sullage and garbage
b) Mostly industrial effluent
c) Mostly bacteria and their icky cousins courtesy malfunctioning municipal water treatment plants
d) You never drink water; only when you feel suicidal

4. A tree is….
a) What we chop for firewood
b) What we chop for more space for concrete blocks
c) What the Government chops to make way for afforestation programmes
d) What the Government chops to make way for afforestation programmes then changes its mind and allots the space cleared to an industrial project

5. The best way to foster conservation is to….
a) Hold seminars, conventions, conclaves, etc., so that complex issues may be debated endlessly
b) Hold seminars, conventions, conclaves, etc., to discuss how issues are debated endlessly at seminars, conventions, conclaves, etc.
c) Print reams upon reams of reports from such seminars, conventions, conclaves, etc., so that another expanse of forest land may be logged for paper
d) Protect biodiversity

6. The best way to conserve energy is to….
a) Use alternative sources of fuel like solar energy or wind power
b) Attend energy conservation meetings where nothing is ever done
c) Nap at regular intervals
d) Work for the Government

7. A protected area is….
a) Any Government office where the security detail will never let you pass through
b) Any VIP's residence where the security detail will never let you pass through
c) Well, you know….you don't really want to get AIDS or get her pregnant…
d) An island of ecological balance maintained through strictly-enforced conservation laws

8. Black bucks are….
a) Deer, popularly shot at by film stars
b) Deer on the verge of extinction [see (a)]
c) Hawala transactions
d) Cash in suitcases that your friends in Dubai keep specially for cricket matches

9. Use of plastic should be discouraged because….
a) The credit card companies send goons after you to recover dues
b) Online hacking
c) It is nonbiodegradable
d) Leather is so much classier, especially that from the hide of any endangered species

10. The NBA is….
a) Basketball at its best
b) The Narmada Bachao Andolan led by Medha Patkar
c) What comes after an MBA
d) Three letters of the alphabet

Here's how you keep score:
Give yourself 4 points each time you chose answer a) except when you have chosen two such answers in succession, barring the times when those two answers have been followed by answer b) except when answer a) has not been chosen on the next option or answer c) follows and contains the letter "p".
Give yourself 3 points each time you chose answer b) except when answer b) contains a vowel barring the times when answer c) follows answer d) and either has a sibilant and the next two answers include a word that does not appear in the dictionary.
Give yourself 2 points each time you chose answer c) except when answer b) follows answer a) or comes prior to answer d) or any of the provisos of the previous two sections apply.
Give yourself I point each time you chose answer d) except when you chose it while wearing red-polka dotted underwear or blue socks with holes in them, barring the times you had been sitting on a chair while making the selection, or, of course, if the telephone rang.

If you've actually gone through the trouble of answering the quiz and then keeping score, there may yet be hope for you. Wouldn't it be better, however, if you were to go out and plant a tree?