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JAAL brings you a 25 Things That Prove You Are A Real Mumbaikar. If you have any jokes, send them in to editor@jaalmag.com
1. You think of Chowpatty and Juhu beaches as "nature."
2. You say "town " and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.
3. You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiyya Hindi', which only Mumbaikars can understand.
4. Your door has more than three locks.
5. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
6. Train timings (9.27, 10.49, etc.) are really important events of life.
7. You spend more time each month commuting than you spend at home.
8. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
9. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a one-room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."
10. You have the following sets of friends: schoolfriends, college friends, neighbourhood friends, office friends and yes, TRAIN friends, a species unique to Bombay.
11. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name. They are more familiar with Warden Road, Pedder Road, Altamount Road ......
12. Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.
13. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the "Bombay Times" supplement.
14. You take fashion seriously.
15. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
16. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
17. You compare Bombay to New York's Manhattan instead of other cities of India.
18. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
19. You insist on calling Mumbai Bombay, CST as VT, and say Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chattrapati Shivaji International Airport.
20. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
21. Your idea of personal space is when no one is actually standing on your toes.
22. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
23. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it 'romantic'.
24. Only in Bombay, would you get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken.
25. You call the traffic policemen 'pandus" and expect out-of-towners to understand that.
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