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JAAL brings you a Kaun Banega Crorepati special. If you have any jokes, send them in to editor@jaalmag.com
Santa Singh has qualifyied for the hot seat Kaun Banega Crorepati.....
Amitabh Bachchan: Okay, Santa I congratulate you.
Santa: Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fatah. Chak denge phatte aaj. Tusi start karo ji.
AB : OK Santa this is your first question for Rs 1000. Which state has the largest Sikh population? Your options are:
A. Punjab
B. Punjab
C. Punjab
D. Punjab
Santa: Oh ji, how much time do I've to answer this question?
AB: Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai. Santa ji, you can take your time.
Santa (giggles): Sirji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like to use a lifeline.
AB: Which one would you like to use?
Santa : Audience poll.
AB: Okay. Audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time starts now.
After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.
A. 25%
B. 25%
C. 25%
D. 25%
AB: Santaji, this is a not a good situation for you, I can share your disgust. Par kya karen janta to janardhan hoti hai. So which option would you like to go with?
Santa: Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya sirji aapki audience ne. I think I've to use my second lifeline - 50:50.
AB: Very good 50:50 ka istemal karna chahenge. Man me shanka ho to lifeline zaroor istemal karni chahiye. Mein sab ko yehi salah deta hoon.
Okay. Computerji, do galat jawab mita dijiye.
Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab.
Santa: Badi chalu machine hai aapki, sirji. Mein chodoonga nahi aaj isko. Ab mujhe third lifeline bhi chahiye.
AB: Kamaal hai Santaji! I must congratulate you. You have broken a record by using all your lifelines in the very first question. This is great. Okay, phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahenge aap?
Santa: My one and only one - mera langotiya yaar, Banta Singh.
AB: Banta ko phone lagaya jaye. Aap dono ikkathe he kaam karte hai?
Santa: Oh nahiji ham dono pichchle 6 saal se 10th mein saath fail ho rahe hain. Badi pakki yaari hai ji hamari.
Phone rings. Banta picks it up: "Hulloooooo, kaun hai oye adhi raat???"
AB: Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke Kaun Banega Crorepati se.
Banta : Oooooooo, Bachchanji, koi hor hota to uski to mein ?$^$%$?$%$%$&. Kee hal chal hain, sirji?
AB: Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai isliye aap apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan baithe hain mere saath aur.....
Banta (interrupts): Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gaya hoga? Sawal pucho ji.
AB: Aapko sirf tees second.............. chaliye mein aapko special case ke tarah treat karte hoon. Ek minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.
Santa: Oye Bante, ke ho raya hai yaar??
Banta: Oye saale, bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere doodhwala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez pehen gaya. Chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap layega?
AB: Santaji, kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.
Santa: Yes, yes. Oye chod use, yaar question hai (reads out the question).
Banta: Saari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska answer mujhe aata hai. Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe . Iska answer Punjab hai.
Santa: Oye par ......... (and the clock stops).
AB: Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai, ab to mujhe pakka confidence hai ke aap kam se kam Rs 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.
Santa: Yeh to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh to bataya nahin ke jawaab A hai ya C!
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