DEALING WITH BALASAHEB: A lot of time and effort was wasted by the sarkar alternately winning over and whining over the Shiv Sena supremo. All that crawling and brawling; checking lesbian bitches, digging cricket pitches. Look forward to another year of entertainment courtesy the firm of Thackeray and Thakre.

STYMYING THE ISI CHIEF: The poor man's utterly devastated. With his brief of causing internal destablisation of India, he finds himself unemployed as his duties are usurped by the Indian Government and its cohorts.

BIHAR: First, the Centre tried to dismiss the State Government but the President nixed it. Then it did it again and the Prez, for he had no choice, had to agree. Then it had to give Bihar back to Rabri Devi. Then it had to rescue Governor S S Bhandari, airlifting him to Gujarat. All this, of course, goes to the credit of our modern Sardar Patel, Home Minister L K Advani. He's achieved the impossible - made more of a mess over Bihar than Laloo Prasad Yadav has managed to.

L'AFFAIRE BHAGWAT: allegations of communalism, corruption, treachery, skullduggery, and we're still not talking about the Government but about the navy. Or, at least, that's what Defence Minister George Fernandes managed to achieve by notching up a historic ``first'' or ``low'' (choose as you will) of dismissing a chief of the armed forces, Chief of Naval Staff Admiral Vishnu Bhagwat. And, as a result, the BJP Government could well see the sinking of its rudderless ship.

CHRISTIANS: he Government gloats: There have been no communal riots involving the major minority community, the Muslims, during its tenure. Great. But why? Because the chaddi crowd was too busy going after the Christians as they tried to convert missionary zeal to missionary zilch. Now maybe we can have a national debate about converting some of these critters to humanity.

CREATING THE SONIA MYTH: People, not all of them Congressmen, actually believe that Sonia Gandhi is a leader, that she can be a Prime Minister. Pray why? Simply because they take this Government as the yardstick. Need we say more?

YASHWANT SINHA'S BUDGET: The Finance Minister's Budget is the real Y2K problem. No one knows what it's about and by the time they do figure it out, it may be too late. However, since no one can figure out what it does for the economy, we can look forward to another year of financial confusion even if Mohan Guruswamy no longer haunts North Block.

BUS TO PAKISTAN: With the sarkar tripping on every issue, this was one trip that was quite a trip. Of course, it didn't solve anything but at least our Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee managed to shake hands with Nawaz Sharif rather than shake his fist. And, yes, copycats abound. Advani's virtually made Wagah his second home, and rumours are rampant that George Fernandes would have undertaken a visit to China except that the Government refused to buy him a return ticket.

MANAGING TO SURVIVE ONE YEAR: Wow! Atal Behari Vajpayee's managed to survive 365 whole days despite the vicious, virulent opposition to his rule, and that's just from his own party colleagues and allies. Now he can look forward to a second year. Not much worse could happen. Yes, the Government could collapse, but then…..do we see a wistful smile on our Prime Minister's face?

Illustrations by Siddhartha Mitra