Since this is the silly season for Indian journalism and hacks desperately crave stories, fast, so that they can get to nap in the PIB lounge in the afternoons, Jaal has decided to perform some public service by helping them out with these templates for newbreaks they can deliver - just fill in the blanks!

I. Congress dissidents in -------- (name of State/ UT/ your mohalla) have decided to approach the High Command for the immediate removal of ------ (the Chief Minister/ the Leader of the Opposition/ a wart) since they claimed, ----- (he/she/it) was solely responsible for the ----- (decline in the image of the party/ corruption creeping into the system/ their inability to score).

2. The Indian cricket team narrowly lost the ------- (mention number) one-day international against ------ (name of country) played at ------ (venue) by ------ (number of wickets/ number of runs/ sheer idiocy) despite having the game under control at one stage before ------- (the bowlers squandered 88 runs in the last 5 overs/ the last six wickets collapsed in the heap for the addition of 3 runs/ they decided to continue with their losing streak). At the same time, investigating agencies have said that the captain of the ------ name of team), ------ (name of player), may have been instrumental in fixing the game since he was found to be in communication with a ------ (bookie/ Dubai don/reiki healer) via ------- (cellphone/ smoke signals/ semaphore). Officials also said that they had proof that the match had been fixed for ------ (number of dollars/ number of pounds/ number of Kajol).

3. An official Government spokesman has denied that ------- (the Government is without direction/ talks with Pakistan may resume/ it is in a state of denial).

4. ------- (name of venture capitalist/ angel investor/ any other gullible moneybags) has decided to put in $ ------- (2 million/ 2 billion/ 2) into the ambitious new -------- (vertical/ horizontal/ invisible) portal conceptualised by a ----- (29-year-old entrepreneur/ 2 9-year-olds/ a couple of langurs) that will cater exclusively to the virtual community of ----- (iguanas/ people who've never seen a PC in their lives/ herdsmen in Outer Mongolia).

5. The Government has announced that ------ (it will cut subsidies/ privatise PSUs/ it will make no further announcements).

6. The glitterati and chatterati of the city gathered at ------- (the happening new bistro/ the happening new cigar joint/ the happening old bus stop), clad in their ---- (Armani exclusives/ Ravi Bajaj creations/ khaki knickers) for the launch of ------ (the coolest new website/ the coolest new magazine/ the coolest new igloo).

7. The Prime Minister has left for a three-day trip to ---- (Burkina Faso/ Inner Mongolia/ Ghaziabad). In his absence the Cabinet will be chaired by ----- (the Home Minister/ his son-in-law/ whoever wins the musical chairs competition).

8. The Government has accused the ISI of ------ (fomenting terrorism in Kashmir/ counterfeiting Rs 500 notes/ being the ISI).

9. The latest Indipop sensation ------- (name of band/ singer) has released ----- (his/her/their) album that consists of ------ (three remixed Bhangra numbers/ music/ collected speeches of HD Deve Gowda). The creative force behind this venture is ----- (love of folk melodies/ plagiarism/ greed).

10. The ------ (unknown/ obscure/ bankrupt) website, jaalmag.com has released another edition of its material choc-a-bloc with ------ (inanity/ articles that wouldn't make a hyena laugh/ more inanity).