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A Man Of Many Masks |
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The media vultures were all there to observe and pick on every word that the old man would have to say in Gujarat though he had already said a truckful while he was in Delhi. Hobbes of course claims that the media follows Knock Knees everywhere not because he makes good copy (from one word to another is strenuous journey for those old lips) or that he is pic-worthy (when was the last time that grandpa got a solo photograph?) but because sooner or later the pause between words will never be broken so to say. And then the media can say his last words were "…" and speculate as to how the old man might have completed his sentence. Anyways I hushed Hobbes and told him not to make fun of the man who runs this country.  So Knock Knees landed in Gujarat and of course since the whole state is Ground Zero it was difficult for him to decide where to start. Some enthusiastic supporters decide to receive the Knock Knees with a Yagna and so lit a ceremonial fire in the city with 5 human beings being substituted for cow-dung. He asked Nero for some direction but Nero was of little help since he still does not believe that riots happened at all. He asked Nero to bring him a map of Ahmedabad unfortunately all the maps had been given to the cadres because they were going to hung - oops sorry that is hug -their brethren from the minority community.Knock Knees retired to his room and switched on the TV and realized that there were a lot of relief camps in the city. He then decided that he would visit one such camp. Why not more you ask, well please remember the weak knees. Now Hobbes and I decided that we had better watch TV that day since we might see the historic mid sentence - "What would his next words have been?" moment. We roped in Moz because he has won lots of prizes at "What's the Good Word?" And there as Knock Knees stood with Nero by his side he declared that what happened was a national tragedy. That he could not imagine people being burnt alive and so on and so forth. We figured that he would survive this speech and watched his thunderous concluding statement of "I am off to 14 countries and do not know what face to take and go there." Now having just returned from Goa I theorized that the PM had also figured that summer means Vacation and he was announcing on TV that he is going for a vacation like I did on the news-digest. I also thought that he had missed the word pack, which meant that he was not sure which face pack to take and go as he sunned himself on the beaches in Florida or wherever he is going on a vacation. Hobbes thought that Goan feni had dulled my pea brain and claimed that Knock Knees, in keeping with these troubled times the world over, was setting out to take India's message of peace and amity to nations far and wide. When world peace is at stake how can we worry about a few thousands who got burnt in India? As for the faces he believed that Knock Knees was taking this opportunity to launch a contest nationally wherein people could decide, whether the sleeping face, the pondering face, the poetic face, the fish out of water face among others, was the best. He said maybe we needed to check out contest sites and participate to win a trip abroad. We turned to the venerable Moz and asked him to explain the meaning of this Face mystery. Moz gazed up from his book - a text on the classics - and lying beside him was the photo of Nero and Knock Knees at the camp. And here is what Moz had 2 theories, the first of which drew upon our ancient and variegated culture and the other which drew on a culture a shade not so great as ours that of Ancient Greece. The Narayana Avatar theory - which means that Knock Knees is confused as to which of the ten heads of the Lord Narayana should he wear - the benign face, the destructors face, the womanly face and so on. The Janus Theory - With so many photos of Knock Knees and Nero together it is possible that Knock Knees and Nero are the modern day manifestation of Janus - the double faced God. And the face that he uses in Israel will be Nero's and in Arab countries it will be his own. We gazed at Moz in awe and asked him which of the two theories does he support. Both Hobbes and I said that we wanted to with all our hearts to believe in Theory 1. Moz smiled and said, "Well so would I but I must remind you that Ravana too had 10 heads!" RECENTLY ON JAAL: The Mathematics Of Gujarat Yeh Dil Maange Less Valentine's Daze The God Of Fried Things Kabhi Mushy, Kabhi Rough The Worst Of 2001 Omni-Laden The New ISI Chief Is A Pathan!! 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