We, the denizens of Jaal, have recently been passing a book around. That book we have been reading (yes, we can read) happens to be The Coming Of Bill.
No, this book was not issued by the USIA as mandatory reading for all Indians prior to the arrival of the Clinton entourage. It was written by PG (not something you can associate with some of the US President's televised appearances of recent history) Wodehouse.
However, The Coming Of Bill (the American version) is BIG (see, we capitalised those letters) in India.
Every aspect of his arrival has been covered by the media, except perhaps the agenda for his talks with the Indian Government. That is of passing interest and therefore, publications have passed it by. After all, this will be a meeting of which no discerning observer will expect tangible returns, as it involves a lame duck President and a Government that survives on dame luck.
Mr Clinton will be moving in to the Maurya Sheraton and a section of the kitchen in that particular hotel has been cleared out to make for the White House cooks. Presumably, Clinton may be attempting to curry favour with the Indian but does not necessarily favour curry.
One interesting aspect of the trip (we shouldn't use that word since he never actually inhaled) is that he will be staying in the majestic Chandra Gupta suite. That suite has had several illustrious occupants in the past, among them All India Anna Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam chief J Jayalalitha.
Since Hilary has decided that she needs to be in New York, Clinton is travelling with Chelsea, who has opted to find a yoga teacher. Obviously, with Bill as your father, you do require to learn how to draw deep breaths. Her father, of course, does not need such exercises, as we mentioned earlier, he doesn't inhale.
Clinton, we are also told, has a liking for turkey sandwiches though whether talking turkey will be sandwiched in this visit remains to be seen. We will also have to see whether he brings along his fabled cigar, a multi-functional tool that may be lit at either end.
Other than New Delhi, Clinton will also be dropping in on Andhra Pradesh, Uttar Pradesh and Rajasthan. At this time, these are three states that are heading for a spring-cleaning for a head of state.
Off his itinerary, however, is Kashmir. And Bangalore, though Karnataka Chief Minister S M Krishna should not sulk, since he can do better by inviting the bigger Bill, Gates, over to the garden-to-garbage city. On it, is an address to the Indian Parliament. He will have the opportunity of shaking hands with several luminaries from the Bharatiya Janata Party and its affiliates, while the rest will probably be squatting outside shaking their fists. After all, the best they could do was to get Jimmy Carter over. That's peanuts in comparison.
Of course, the entertainment is not entirely undiluted since Clinton has also opted for a short stopover to meet General Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan. Unfortunately, Buddy will not be there to meet Pervez's poodles.
However, that irritant apart, the Clinton roadshow could be the biggest thing to happen to India since Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee's visit to Mauritius.