The dramatis personae taking political centrestage are a real catch, aren't they? Here's a quick checklist.

1. J Jayalalitha of the All India Anna Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam - Her claim to fame is a well-deserved sobriquet of being India's Imelda Marcos, all those shoes. Not to forget those useful high-heels to bash up naughty accountants with. Jayalalitha has a single point agenda - herself. After making the Vajpayee sarkar crawl, she decided that it wasn't supplicating enough. So she switched camps, and now wants to be part of the Government, or should be call it in inimitable Biharese Gormint to rhyme with vermin? She has about a dozen criminal cases against her, TANSI, JJ TV, to name just a couple, and she's desperate to get a full nelson on whichever Government is formed. In the process, maybe just maybe, se could become the Prime Minister or failing that, have acolyte Subramaniam Swamy become the Finance Minister.

2. Om Prakash Chautala of the Indian National Lok Dal - The hero of Meham wherein he proved that democracy can not only be murdered, it can be annihilated. Also the son of former Deputy Prime Minister Devi Lal. Chautala was all gung-ho for toppling the BJP Government, kept stressing that point, till the last minute when, in typical Haryana politics ishtyle, did a somersault. Chautala is full of platitudes about why he decided to change camps, but a little birdie cheeps that the suitcases Jayalalitha carried to her Maurya Sheraton hotel suite did not pack enough to satiate Chautala's tastes.

3. Mayawati of the Bahujan Samaj Party - Her party chief Kanshi Ram is famous for the statement that he would ``open any door that leads to a staircase.'' The BSP's USP is political opportunism. But at least, it is honest enough to admit as much. Mayawati crowed in Parliament about how her party hated both the BJP and the Congress and would abstain in the vote and then, as expected, played dirty. Now she's busy trying to figure out how to get rid of her political rivals - Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Kalyan Singh and Samajwadi Party chief Mulayam Singh Yadav. Then she could get back to becoming CM again if only for a couple of months.

4. Farooq Abdullah of the National Conference - Had party MP Saifuddin Soz expelled for voting against the BJP Government and then did a volte face and had his son proclaim that the NC would support a Congress Government at the Centre. But then DR Farooq seems t have his priorities perfect, since he keeps saying that maintaining an amicable relationship is necessary to garner maximum funds for the ``State''. But then London in the time of Cool Britannia is expensive and the golf courses have hiked their membership fees.

5. George Fernandes of the Samata Party - Is more or less responsible for the collapse of the Government since he played personal politics in having the former Chief of Naval Staff Vishnu Bhagwat removed from his post. However, he now has his apologists planting stories on willing hacks, kept amiable by the Defence Ministry, that the BJP wants to make him the Prime Minister. Right! And Murli Manohar Joshi has become an intellectual. George should be more concerned with keeping his party MPs together. After all, one of them, Kalpnath Rai (remember him? How these creatures emerge from the woodwork) will support Sonia Gandhi and another has already sent his wife over to the ranks of Laloo Prasad Yadav's Rashtriya Janata Dal in the Bihar Assembly.