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Dumb Aloo And The Hair Ball
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 What is it about cricket and it's propensity to generate controversies galore? I mean this is a sport played at the highest level by just 10 countries who play each other the year round.Even football with more playing nations than the UN has far fewer dust-ups - the biggest this year was the World Cup final head-butt! Cricket on the other hand finds itself embroiled in bomb blasts, accusations of racism, match fixing and drug scandals - you name it. Then comes the mother of all brouhahas - cricket's very own version of the clash of civilizations, for heaven's sake! A stubborn umpire, a team that is hypersensitive to accusations of foul-play - did I hear someone say 'guilty conscience'? - and we are now left holding the hottest of hot potatoes. Hot enough anyway to see cricket on the front pages of the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times for the very first time! At the centre of it all are Aussie umpire Darrel Hair and Pakistan captain Inzamam-ul-Haq. Now Inzi as you may recall has had his fair share of spats and run-ins over the years. Ten years back at Toronto he attacked an Indian spectator with a bat for calling him 'aloo'. I mean, 'aloo' for goodness sakes - I've been called worse! Now going by some of the alibis trotted out on his behalf by a politically correct English media that appears to be bending over backwards, here is a new nickname for him - 'dum aloo'. This is a guy who has been around in international cricket since 1991 and who keeps on whining that he is not aware of the rules! We are told that this is because he is not comfortable with English. So maybe the Pakistan Cricket Board needs to get him an Urdu translation of the Laws of Cricket and ensure that their beloved captain reads it from cover to cover. One Indian journalist put it succinctly - the only English words Inzi understands he says, are 'toss', 'lunch' and 'tea'. Probably 'dinner' as well but that would be reserved only for day/night ODIs! Remember, the pathetic sight Inzi displayed when he was given out 'obstructing the field' in an ODI against India earlier this year, only to tell the media he was not aware of the rules? He then had the temerity to accuse Dravid of being unsporting in appealing for the verdict when Inzi stuck his bat out to stop the ball from running him out. Now that's chutzpah for you! Wonder what's the Urdu word for that is? And since when has ignorance been an excuse for breaking rules/laws? Come on Inzi, take a crash course in conversational English so you can understand what the umpire is telling you and then ask for a copy of the laws and study it like there's no tomorrow. You never know when it might come in useful. And you'll surely have plenty of time on your hands if the ICC slaps you with yet another ban!
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