Slang Match - JaaL - desi satire eZine


Do Indians Abroad Change For The Worse?

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What could you say marks you as an quintessential urban Indian: someone who talks to his dog and his child in English, loves to say I love my India but tries hard to get a passage to greener pastures...respects Lataji but only listens to Ricky Martin and vouches for butter chicken but in his heart feels Big Mac ki baat hi kutch aur hai!!
Now, what happens when desi babu lands at Heathrow - he deals with an airport attendant from Ludhiana negotiates the one way London streets with a cabby from Lahore and finds a lodging with a gujju family in Hounslow - he earns a jetlag without moving his bod and acquires an accent without exercising his jaw! I gather, that's why Indians are touted as success stories in many a western shores. But some detractors would say why does one need to come all the way to London to acquire an accent - you could just as well do it by calling up your cousin in Leicester!
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The real and complete transformation of Mr Kapoor to Mr Cooper takes just a tad wee longer. Maybe a couple of months at the most...the accent gets shades of cockney with flourishes of Indian lingo thrown in. Sartorially too, Mrs Kapoor (Cooper) turns into a new leaf...well almost - salwar kameez sits pretty with trousers and skirt hemlines become inversely proportional to the confidence levels. But an Indian has to deal with the constant struggle between the desire to be accepted, to attain a new identity and the fear of not completely losing the innate Indianness. What it results in is bouts of mera desh mahan homilies: good family values, culture, bollywood cinema and now the great IT factor... peppered with complaints that all that ails India is to be blamed on the Brits. If the trains back home don't run on time...its because the firangis had no clue about what teeming millions really mean...if the postman doesn't call it's only because the English set it up!! In the same breath they sing paeans to all things English: the monarchy, the neighbourhood chippy , the lager louts in ye old English pubs and the art of ball play as practiced by Beckham not Bhutia.
And it is the mulligatawny soup an Indian tries to wade through: rising school grades and rising xenophobia, arranged marriage and arranging for membership of a posh West London club, yaani the tryst with a new life goes on.

Renu Agal is with the BBC

I came to the land of milk and honey about 3 years ago. I am one of the numerous software folks who come here in search of that pot of gold! Well, I have been in California for most of my stay in USA.
During this short period, I came across so many Indians from different parts of the motherland and these are my experiences. I can broadly categorise them into three types of 'desis' in the USA!
I cannot affirmatively state that Indians turn for the worse once in the USA but I found that there are three types of Indians - especially among those newly arrived in this country. You read on and draw your own conclusions.
The first type is the one who sorely misses India after the initial honeymoon with living in the USA is over. This Indian misses India very much and makes routine trips back home. He also fills the coffers of telecom giants like AT&T and MCI by calling India on the week-end low rate plans. Nothing wrong I would say, but such folks can never really adapt their mindset to blend in with the biggest melting pot of the world! So this Indian is always in a state of an identity limbo - neither 'firang' nor 'desi'- oscillating somewhere between the two! Always confused as to the state of his life and what the future holds for him, especially after living for 20-25 years in India and now having to come to terms with life in USA.
The second type is the one who feels that he is now free from all the shackles of all that is Indian. He starts finding faults with everything Indian. He starts criticising every small thing that was back home and then extols the virtues of everything American. He is the one who will immediately pontificate on everything that is wrong in India, but will never have any views on how things can be improved back home. He is the Indian who will be so vocal about every issue back home and criticise it so much that it makes one wonder whether this person even curses his parents for having birthed him in India! This Indian immediately tries to adopt everything American. Nothing bad as far as blending into the fabric of the new country is concerned, and he is no longer an Indian but 'Asian Indian by birth'!
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This is the Indian who will never smile back at another Indian because he is the great one and other Indians are an invasion of his so-called space! Bhel puri is no longer tasty but a Taco is! He will never go to any Indian gathering but will celebrate the 4th of July weekend with more zest than a normal American might! Just to show that he has a conscience he might even donate to some Indian charity like CRY - but only to those institutions which are approved by the IRS and a donation would result in tax benefits!
Even if he has adopted the 'paper towel' in the 'restroom' with such joy, this Indian finally goes back home to get a 'gharelu' Indian wife! But once back, he is back to his 'phoren' lifestyle!
The third type of Indian is the one who is very practical. He has his goals and priorities set in life very clearly. These are:
- Come to the US
- Earn the greenbacks
- Go home to have an arranged marriage or bring over his sweetheart
- Get a green card and settle or
- Eventually go back home on completion of six years of the work visa.
This Indian finds as much joy in going for a outing to Yosemite as much as he gets from watching a Hindi movie on video! This Indian will quickly adapt to the changes in the lifestyle in USA but will also remember his roots back home. This Indian has no hassle about appreciating what is good here like a salary with a potential for savings and at the same time acknowledging the good things back home, like the good engineering and technology courses which got him a job in USA in the first place.
Hey folks, these have been my silent observations for the last 3 years. I have still to interact with a lot many types of Indians from different backgrounds and careers who are now in USA. Consider these as observations on the high-tech Indian professionals in the US!

Sunit Katkar lives and works in Sunnyvale, California

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