Now that the entire world knows about Shilpa Shetty, Danielle Lloyd, Endemol, and Celebrity Big Brother, it’s time to take a stand on this issue. Also, Jaalmag.com is starting a campaign against Microsoft for racism since its Word spellcheck does not recognize Shetty and offers alternatives as racist as Shifty, Catty and Chitty! Back to the main feature: We analyze the statements that have been made since the controversy erupted:

Danielle Lloyd, the Miss Great Britain who was stripped off her crown:
What She Said: Apparently described Shilpa as a “dog”.
What She Did Not Say: “Hey, they misquoted me. I meant ‘bitch’.”

Minister of State for External Affairs Anand Sharma:
What He Said: "We are seized of the matter. We are looking into all the aspects. We will take appropriate action as required."
What He Did Not Say: “Since the Foreign Ministry has nothing better to do. We’re banning AXN even though it has nothing to do with that case. What? You want logic from the Indian Government?”

Celebrity Big Brother Host Davina McCall on Jade Goody:
What She Said: "Jade obviously has no idea that for the last week she has been at the center of an international crisis."
What She Did Not Say: “And then we showed her the videos of Saddam Hussein’s hanging and we see his lips say, ‘Jade, avenge me’.”

Jade Goody:
What She Said: "Fair enough if people vote me out because they don't like me, but if it's because they think I'm a racist bitch, I'll be worried about walking out - because that's not me."
What She Did Not Say: “Becase you’re not supposed to be concerned with the truth or reality on a reality show.”

British Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown:
What He Said: “'This is unacceptable. Thousands of British people have already condemned it.”
What He Did Not Say: “Right, all the restaurant owners on Curry Hill who think Shilpa’s giving Indian food a bad name.”

Labour MP Keith Vaz:
What He Said: "The language that is being used, the way in which it is being used, the things that are being said, are just not acceptable in this day and age."
What He Did Not Say: “Poppodam? That’s an insult to all Sikhs and Gujaratis and Bengalis who’d rather be called ‘Tandoori Chicken’ or ‘Dhokla’ or ‘Rosogolla’.”

Meera Syal:
What She Said: "There is a very thin line between what is entertainment and a vile spectacle, and I think we are in that area now.”
What She Did Not Say: “As with Bollywood.”

Director Mahesh Bhatt:
What He Said: "The mask has finally come off from what otherwise is seen to be an evolved society. Those who dismiss this as aberrant behaviour are wrong. It reflects a deeper malaise in society and should be addressed."
What He Did Not Say: “She should return to India and get to advertising Fair & Lovely.”

Channel 4:
What It Said: "Matters of bullying or racial abuse in any form are taken extremely seriously by Channel 4 and Endemol.”
What It Did Not Say: “And Jade and Jo and Danielle, thank you for the ratings.”

Ofcom Chief Executive Ed Richards:
What He Said: Ofcom is monitoring the situation “very, very closely.”
What He Did Not Say: “We’re going watch hours on hours of Big Brother and then send the bill for the psychiatric counseling required after that for the resulting Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to Channel 4.”

Shilpa Shetty:
What She Said: According to a statement believes “the incidents are not racist, but motivated by social and cultural factors".
What She Did Not Say: “Like not understanding you need to swoon over whiny Bollywood actresses.”

Monica Lewinsky’s publicist Barbara Hutson on her move to London:
What She Said: "She's job hunting."
What She Did Not Say: “Actually, she’s had an offer from Celebrity Big Brother since she can pronounce Shilpa and once had curry in Washington DC. She’ll go for the audition as soon as she can find a dress that’s not stained.”