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Some things don’t change. In the 10 years that Jaalmag.com has been in existence, terrorist attacks have continued in India, reaching a crescendo with the attacks in Mumbai. And as always, we at Jaalmag.com are privileged to have a mole present at the Congress Working Committee meeting after the attacks, to bring us a first person account of the discussions there. Here are the details:Prime Minister Manmohan Singh (PM): Well, Shivraj, why didn’t you take prompt action once you were told of the shootings in Mumbai? Former Home Minister Shivraj Patil: Arre…they said “shootings”. There are always shootings in Mumbai, they are always shooting Bollywood films there. How was I to know what they meant? PM: But…there were reports of terrorists…. Patil: Yes, yes, but the phones lines were so bad, I thought they said “tourists”. There are always tourists in Mumbai. And they said they were at the Taj, at the Oberoi…I told them, “Where else would they go? Best places for them.” Sonia Gandhi: I understand. Mistakes happen. Sorry we had to fire you. Patil: That really hurt. I mean, how can you expect me to multitask like that? I had to wax my moustache. It’s the best-kept moustache on Raisina Hill! Sonia Gandhi: And congratulations, Manmohan, on a fine address to the nation. That really showed them. PM: Yes…especially those last lines I’m so proud of: “I am confident that the people of India will rise unitedly to face this grave challenge to the nation's security and integrity.” (Thinks again). Except it seems that they are rising unitedly to vote us out of office. Ingrates. Sonia Gandhi: At least you didn’t mention Pakistan even once. Fine job. PM (blushing): Yes…nice lines, no? “We will take up strongly with our neighbours that the use of their territory for launching attacks on us will not be tolerated, and that there would be a cost if suitable measures are not taken by them.” Defence Minister AK Antony: That makes me really mad. Those people of Bhutan are really dangerous. We should attack them. Patil: Better than attacking Pakistan, they have nukes. The Bhutanese only have bows and arrows. Defence Minister: But the stupid voters want us to attack Pakistan! PM: Ingrates. After all we’ve done all these years. There have only been a dozen terrorist attacks all year. Defence Minister: Maybe we could attack the Maldives? PM: No, no, we don’t attack anyone, except the BJP for attacking us. Sonia Gandhi: Anyway, we have a fine new Home Minister in Chidambaram… Home Minister P Chidambaram: Thank you. I will do for national security exactly what I’ve done for our economy as the former Finance Minister. PM (grunts): I hope not. Home Minister: Excuse me? PM: I said, of course, of course. Just as economic growth has stopped and gone backwards, I hope you can take the growth of terrorism backwards. Sonia Gandhi: But why did it take seven hours to get the commandos to Mumbai? PM: Errr…we only have them stationed in Delhi, and the plane was in Chandigarh…and you know, we always have delays here in air travel. Civil Aviation Minister Praful Patel (bristling): We should have done what I have done with all the good routes, privatized them. The NSG could have flown by Jet Airways. PM: But isn’t Jet Airways in trouble? Civil Aviation Minister: Yes, yes…that’s why we need to help them, give them more money, let them fly all our security and military missions. Sonia Gandhi: I wonder why Maharashtra Chief Minister Vilasrao Deshmukh didn’t take any action… PM: Simple, he can’t act unless it’s against the BJP or the Shiv Sena. See how prompt he was in Malegaon? He even got a sadhvi tortured! In Mumbai, even Bal Thackeray was hiding away, so Deshmukh had no target to go after. Sonia Gandhi: Yes, poor man. People expected too much of him. PM: So, since we can’t go after Pakistan and we can’t go after Islamic fundamentalists in India and we can’t have stronger anti-terror laws, what should we do? Home Minister: Do what everyone else does when there’s a crisis, ask the US Government for a bailout! Send Jaal Your Feedback: RECENTLY ON JAAL: 10 New Year Resolutions 10 Celeb Stories We Want To See Bastards Of Bollywood 10 Reasons Shashi Tharoor Lost Do You Have A Reservation? Diwali Crackers What's In A Rape? Mush Mush Pakistan Isn't It Strange... The Beauty List 10 Reasons Why Bride & Prejudice Was Delayed America The Bountiful The Osama Interview Main Naraaz Soniaji Se The President Of Vice The Case Of The Fake Santa Two Top Tenors The Worm Turns America's War Against Terror Vs India's Terror Against War To Saffronazis: A Doggerel Believe It Or Nuts 25 Ways To Annoy Osama More NYC Pix Target: India? 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