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| 1998 To 2008: From Verse To Worse |
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People, events, places, from A to Z, We got it into our heads, (And we were off our meds), That our resident poets could serve up verse, To reflect 10 years in lines funny and terse, This brief history of India is our goal, But when real poets see it, they’ll blush, Since it’s putrid, they will want to flush It down the toilet bowl. A is for Advani, Lal Krishna The BJP’s PM-in-waiting, Is all but salivating, About the 2009 elections, Of which he has great expectations, But will it go the way of India Shining? B is for Back Office Outsourcing, offshoring, call it what you want, For the likes of Wipro, Infosys, it’s been a jaunt, With cheap labour, cheaper code, Or getting into call center mode, IT superpower we can flaunt. C is for Cricket The five-day games have fallen flat, Twenty-20 is where it’s at, Test matches are such bores, Since the IPL still makes crores, In the tussle between bookies and bat. D is for Delhi, New: India’s capital city, Has plenty of politicians, no electricity, Is the hub of corruption, The core of pollution, But still lacks water and sanity. E is for the Economy The Sensex is the subject of lust, More reforms for sure, a must, That was the public mood, Making money was so good, Until the boom became a bust. F is for Films Bollywood is all a-glitter, The Khans are all a-twitter, In an industry of bimbos and himbos, Starring in films by dumbos, While Big B is now only bitter. G is for Gandhi, Sonia: Rules India by her fancy, Or through Manmohan, her pansy, Ex-Italian, the next leader Rahul’s mom, Gives the Congress its platform, Abject sycophancy. H is for History It repeats, all the time, So it’s really a crime, For our leaders to forget the last attack, Until the next one and they get flak, Until…they go back to wallowing in their slime.  I is for the ISIThe foreign hand that India fears, In Mumbai, Delhi, it frequently appears, And the world wonders why, The Pakis say, “Aye, Yes, Aye,” As its own destruction nears. J is for Jihad Killing in the name of God, May, to you, sound somewhat odd, But the Paki terror camps remain awash, With jihadis funded by Saudi cash, Ready to attack Mumbai, London, New York, Madrid, Bali, Tel Aviv, when the ISI gives them the nod. K is for Kashmir, Kargil and Kandahar A plane was hijacked to Kandahar, Pakistan and India had an undeclared war, And the benighted Vale, Is still going to Hell, As the jihadis just keep wanting more. L is for the Left and the Liberal There are no terrorists, they say, No Islamic fundamentalism, they bray, Getting attacked is our own fault, Over caviar and a single malt, Just get rid of Modi, they pray. M is for Manmohan Singh Like Gandhi’s three monkeys, Sonia Gandhi’s prime flunkey, The PM can’t see, hear or speak of terror, Because, to him, it’s all an error, He repeats, like an oblivious junkie. N is for the Nuclear Deal CTBT? Non! NPT? Nyet, Nuclear power plants? You bet, Oh, isn’t it such a lift, To get this wonderful American gift, From Dubya to his favourite pet? O is for Obama, Barack The man of change and hope, Now with power he begins to grope, Wants to free Pakistan of tension, Which begs the question, Is he really a dope? P is for Pakistan Terrorism is its main export, Killing civilians its national sport, The Land of the Pure, Now just smells like manure. From Waziristan to Karachi port. Q is for Questions Like, why are things still the same? Why the political response to terrorism always lame? Why do we still elect these netas? Or their bahus and betas? Isn’t that a real shame? R is for Reservations OBCs, Dalits, Muslims, etcetera, Give them all a huge quota, Who cares about any merit of note, All that matters is the almighty vote, India main, bhai, aisa hi hota. S is for Soaps and Soapboxes From saas-bahu and son-mother, To the coming of Big Brother, To a zillion news anchors baring their fangs, At the viewers, in ravenous gangs, Watch TV? Or should you bother? T is for Tendulkar, Sachin Hailed as the Master Blaster, His form can be sublime, But when the match is on the line, That’s when you get disaster For no one can get out faster. U is for Uttar Pradesh: Never has a Gormint, Since it’s ruled by varmints, Criminals don’t stay in jail, Because many, without fail, Are busy attending Cabinet meetings. V is for Vajpayee, Atal Behari: Was touted as able and stable `The Man India Awaits’ was his label. But after he was Premier, The facts made it clear, All that has proved a fable. W is for Dubya, The Bush: “Accomplished”, he said, of the Mission, All America got was a recession, While Iraq became a breeding ground, For terrorists all around, At least India got some nuclear fission. X is for XXX As Bollywood goes all softcore, With scenes to startle a jaded whore, It’s a whole new morn, For Indian porn, As MMS makes it soar. Y is for Yadav, Lalu Prasad From Bihar to ruling the trains, Forget fodder or going to jail, The former Laloo can now scream, Of the new Indian dream, “Make it big without morals or brains”. Z is for Zardari, Asif Ali Benazir was blown up, Her son hadn’t grown up, So after kicking out Musharraf, Got a default choice that was tough, Mr 10 Per Cent had shown up. Send Jaal Your Feedback: ,br> RECENTLY ON JAAL: Ozzified! Ram Ram Setu India 60:60 Harry Potter And The Deadly Deletions De-Prez-Ed The Worst Of The World Cup Space Shuttled World Cup Wishful Thinking After Mush, The Beard? 10 Stories We Wish We'd Seen In 2006 Jaal's 8th Anniversary Special: With Guest Oddities In The Line Of Ire The Indo-Pak Joint Misstatement Speechless On I-Day India's World Cup XI Kaavya Stole From Jaal! Bushed: The Interview Everyone Wins Or Whines XXX MMS The Seven Deadly Sins Happy DiwOily The Disjointed Statement Nuclear Bummed Out Mush Mush Pakistan Adolfvani Worm In The Apple Modi's Operandi Sania Mania The Exclusive Ash Interview A Time To Care The Jaal Anniversary Giveaway 10 Reasons India Lost To Oz Calling Pakistan A Day In The Life Of Manmohan Singh Airstrip Tease The Jaal Exit Poll Vajpayee, Musharraf Quit! O Is For Ouch And Outsourcing The Nuclear Whore Bares All A Message From Atal Jaal Acquired By Yahoo The Bobby Trap Licking The Leak Revising Pakistani History Cheap Man, Cheaper Woman Tongue Tied T Kannan: 1940-2003 The Fair And Lovely Doctrine Grotesque Protests Maya Vs Mulayam: Top Of The Pops The Holi Blues Pain Pain Go Away Bill Gates' Conversion Agenda Exposed Hello? Wrong Number A Man Of Many Masks The Mathematics Of Gujarat Yeh Dil Maange Less Valentine's Daze The God Of Fried Things Kabhi Mushy, Kabhi Rough The Worst Of 2001 Omni-Laden The New ISI Chief Is A Pathan!! Osama And Veerappan The US Strikes Out Bush Talks Tough TN Wants A New CEO Code Red And The Blue Book Sucking Up To Musharraf The Tamasha In Tamil Nadu The Agra Assignment Going Ape Over Kashmir Bad Dream Factory Ballot Boxing Borderline Patriotism Bill Clinton's Hidden Agenda The Tapes: Replay The Naked Truth About Sinha's Dream Budget Give Us This Day Our Daily Disaster A Dip Into The Kumbh Hype Hype Hurray The A 2 Z Of Y2K What's Behind Bush? The Florida Ceasefire The Damn Dam Controversy A Weak-Kneed Operation Faster, Higher, Stranger You Have The Right To Be A Volunteer The ICE ICE Baby A Tale Of The Jungle King The Secret Autonomy Report Report When Batsman Became Betsman India's Human Genome Projectile Stone Age Flaws In ICE Age Laws A Dry Spell For Policy Planning Lara's Theme Dotcom Bubble Gum: Burst Or Bust Inside A VIP Cell A To Do About Dos A Dress Code For Klintonji
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