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Arjun Singh: Okay, now that we are rid of the Ram Setu, where do we go next… Bureaucrat A: Actually, sir, there is a slight problem. The monkeys are extremely upset over the decision. Singh: Monkeys? They don’t vote, why should we care? Bureaucrat B: Actually, sir, there have been reports that monkeys vote, especially in parts of Bihar. Singh: Well, then that does not matter, because the Congress doesn’t matter in Bihar anyway. Bureaucrat C: No, sir…but more importantly, the monkeys have been menacing us in our offices. They steal our files, they steal our lunch, they pinch our buttocks. The other day I had a visitor who had come to give me a bribe…er…a folder about why he was more qualified for a contract than his competitors and a large monkey stole the entire thing. Bureaucrat A: No wonder I see so many more banana vendors around here, their buyers are obviously loaded. Hmmm… Singh: Enough of the monkey business. Let’s get down to history…or what is not history. Bureaucrat A: Sir, the Communists say we never had a war with China. Is that history? Singh: It could be since that war, the one that didn’t happen, is something everyone, including the Indian Army, wants to forget. Shall we say in our textbooks, that India and China had a mild altercation in the early 1960s over whether Chicken Manchurian was real dish? Bureaucrat B: We could certainly say that. I’ll have the editors instructed. Bureaucrat A: Sir, there are also problems about the historical accuracy of events between 1977 and 1980. We have had reports from the Congress headquarters that no Emergency was ever imposed on India. Singh: Of course, it wasn’t. It was just a period of…er…absolute Democratic rule where we consider the Democratic part as the Democratic part that appears in the name of all authoritarian nations. Bureaucrat A: Wah, wah, sir. That is a perfect solution. So, we will just say that during that period we had a democracy that was as accomplished as the democracies in North Korea and Cuba. Bureaucrat C: Sir, there is also a section of secular society that believes that harping too much on the Partition is very divisive, especially those parts about people being killed. Singh: What Partition? There was never any Partition. India has evolved over centuries just as monkeys have into human beings. It’s just that our country contracted spontaneously. Bureaucrat B: Of course, of course. Everybody understands that some contracts can short-change you. Singh: Anything else? Bureaucrat A: Yes sir, there are about 500 more petitions for declaring certain events as non-historical. Singh: We’ll take care of all of them. By the way, is that a monkey sitting in that chair? Has it evolved into a HRD bureaucrat or is it the other way around? 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