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Given these basic resume requirement, here are Jaalmag.com’s recommendations for the post: 1. Shivraj Patil: The Union Home Minister would make a fine President. He would make an even finer former Home Minister. But there is plenty of opposition to his candidature especially from terrorist groups because he has made life so much easier for them. 2. Ghulam Nabi Azad: The same principles applies here as it does to Shivraj Patil. Getting him away from Jammu & Kashmir is probably the best thing that can happen to the State. At the same time, it’ll be a huge symbolic gain for India to have Kashmiri as its President. The ideal situation would be to have Patil and him as President and Vice-President but you’ll plenty of letters of protest from the Lashkar-e-Toiba if that happens. 3. Arjun Singh: Remember that old song? When Smokey sings/I hear violins Well, when Arjun Singh speaks, we hear violence. So, the Patil/Azad logic applies to him too, except you only have two positions to fill. Maybe they could create a special category – Chairman of the United Presidential Alliance, no? 4. Pervez Musharraf: He was born in India so he may just qualify. And he has a liking for the Presidential position as long as it does not involve a democratic election. This should work for him. 5. Sachin Tendulkar: For God’s Sake, he’s only become the Vice-Captain of the Indian Test team. He’s not even the Vice-Captain of the ODI team! Obviously, he could do with a promotion. And this would certainly help Indian cricket too since the selectors don’t have the balls to drop him, his elevation will stop him from choking whenever a crunch situation faces him. 
6. VV Giri: For those who have no idea who that is, he’s a former President of India. So former in fact, he’s very dead. But then since being braindead doesn’t disqualify a person from assuming the post, the late unlamented Giri could certainly have another go at it. 7. George W Bush: He’s soon going to become the ex-President of the United States. Since he’s already a lame duck and is unable to get any legislation through, he may do well with a change of scene. Of course, what will also work for him is the fact that he’s probably more popular in India right now than he is in America. 8. Any Jew: India has already had Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Sikhs and Parsis among its Presidents and Prime Ministers. So, this is probably the one major religion left that is not represented in those echelons. However, if a Jewish President is upsetting for India’s oily “friends” from the Middle East, the country could even do with a President from another unrepresented religion such as Buddhism. 9. CEO of Jain Marketing: This company based is Khadiya, Gujarat, is among India’s foremost manufacturers and wholesalers of rubber stamps. Obviously, for any President, much experience in the field of rubber-stamping should be beneficial so this gentleman (or lady) should be a perfect. Fit. Of course, the other thing going for them is the fact that they actually make computerized rubber stamps! What more can you ask for? 10. APJ Abdul Kalam: He could have another term…but…nah, that makes too much sense. Send Jaal Your Feedback: ,br> RECENTLY ON JAAL: The Worst Of The World Cup Space Shuttled World Cup Wishful Thinking After Mush, The Beard? 10 Stories We Wish We'd Seen In 2006 Jaal's 8th Anniversary Special: With Guest Oddities In The Line Of Ire The Indo-Pak Joint Misstatement Speechless On I-Day India's World Cup XI Kaavya Stole From Jaal! Bushed: The Interview Everyone Wins Or Whines XXX MMS The Seven Deadly Sins Happy DiwOily The Disjointed Statement Nuclear Bummed Out Mush Mush Pakistan Adolfvani Worm In The Apple Modi's Operandi Sania Mania The Exclusive Ash Interview A Time To Care The Jaal Anniversary Giveaway 10 Reasons India Lost To Oz Calling Pakistan A Day In The Life Of Manmohan Singh Airstrip Tease The Jaal Exit Poll Vajpayee, Musharraf Quit! O Is For Ouch And Outsourcing The Nuclear Whore Bares All A Message From Atal Jaal Acquired By Yahoo The Bobby Trap Licking The Leak Revising Pakistani History Cheap Man, Cheaper Woman Tongue Tied T Kannan: 1940-2003 The Fair And Lovely Doctrine Grotesque Protests Maya Vs Mulayam: Top Of The Pops The Holi Blues Pain Pain Go Away Bill Gates' Conversion Agenda Exposed Hello? Wrong Number A Man Of Many Masks The Mathematics Of Gujarat Yeh Dil Maange Less Valentine's Daze The God Of Fried Things Kabhi Mushy, Kabhi Rough The Worst Of 2001 Omni-Laden The New ISI Chief Is A Pathan!! Osama And Veerappan The US Strikes Out Bush Talks Tough TN Wants A New CEO Code Red And The Blue Book Sucking Up To Musharraf The Tamasha In Tamil Nadu The Agra Assignment Going Ape Over Kashmir Bad Dream Factory Ballot Boxing Borderline Patriotism Bill Clinton's Hidden Agenda The Tapes: Replay The Naked Truth About Sinha's Dream Budget Give Us This Day Our Daily Disaster A Dip Into The Kumbh Hype Hype Hurray The A 2 Z Of Y2K What's Behind Bush? The Florida Ceasefire The Damn Dam Controversy A Weak-Kneed Operation Faster, Higher, Stranger You Have The Right To Be A Volunteer The ICE ICE Baby A Tale Of The Jungle King The Secret Autonomy Report Report When Batsman Became Betsman India's Human Genome Projectile Stone Age Flaws In ICE Age Laws A Dry Spell For Policy Planning Lara's Theme Dotcom Bubble Gum: Burst Or Bust Inside A VIP Cell A To Do About Dos A Dress Code For Klintonji
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