|
|
|
|
IPL: Strategy Season
|
||
|
 |
Even after the successful completion of IPL 2009, the organisers of the cricket fest are still hard at work figuring out new ways to make the 2010 version even more special. Several suggestions have been put forward and our cricket correspondent (a trained entomologist who mistakenly applied for this post since he could find no other employment) found the minutes of a meeting of the Organising Committee while cleaning Lalit Modi's hotel room in Johannesburg. Excerpts:1. Motorised Wheelchairs: Since senior cricketers are now a fixture in T20, obviously changes have to be made to accommodate their needs as they age during future tourneys. Therefore, batsmen who cross a threshold age will be allowed to use such wheelchairs while running between wickets while bowlers will be able to use them for their run-ups. 2. Extended Strategy Sessions: Five minutes is not considered adequate for a strategy session midway through an inning and several complaints have been received from advertisers who believe this ought to be extended to at least an hour. However, to maintain the rapid pace of the game, 15-minute breaks will implemented at the completion of every five overs. 3. Lalit Modi: Barely enough coverage was given to the man who has emerged as the messiah of cricket worldwide. Therefore, broadcasters will have to follow stringent rules in this regard in the future with at least with a minimum of 45 minutes of Lalit Modi Face Time during matches regardless of the action on the pitch. 4. Branding: Was inadequate, with just the DLF Maximum being touted by commentators and that too not frequently enough. Therefore, the following revisions are set to occur: The Flykingfisher Fours which could be called a Mallya Mal; The Vodaphone Doubles or the Zoozoo Zoozoo; The Citi Singles or Bailout Package. Similar branding for other aspects such as wickets (Airtel Signal Out), catches - caught (Fevicol Fever) or dropped (KKR Special), runouts (Hyundai Puncture), dot balls (Hero Honda Zero) or free hits (Big Bam Boomer). 5. Additional Teams: Bihar Mafia and Kashmir Curfew under consideration. 6. Umpires: Unnecessary, are often a hindrance on the field. All decisions will be referred to Lalit Modi to optimize Lalit Modi Face Time or LMFM. 7. Squads: Each team will have to include at least two players who are selected by winning competitions sponsored by brands associated with the IPL. 8. Cheerleaders: As some puritans in India object to these girls, they will remains in South Africa and perform via satellite while the teams play in this country. 9. Foreign Players: To give players from other countries more opportunities to participate in the League and given its international popularity, the number of Indian players to be allowed in the playing XI will be four. 10. Lalit Modi: The IPL supreme must be mentioned at least six times in any article, in print or online, or TV, radio story about the event. Oops...Lalit Modi.
Scoop: The IPL Makeover For 2010 10 Years To T20 Sachin Skipper Surely Highlights And Lowlifes Tendulkar's Tips World Cup Worries Oh Kolkata! The Dumb Aloo And The Hair Ball Of Slow Coaches... Gone-Guly And The Award Goes To... Awful Aussies After Saurav Who? Olym-Picks Pakistan Tour Cancelled The Pakistan Tour Q&A Shlock And Aww Petering Out Indian Birdseed For Kiwis Charge Of The Blight Brigade Bullying Off Kashmir Olympics Denness And The Menace More Of The Same Dope Of The Dopes Laloo Takes Guard Again Laloo Takes Guard New Afro-Asian Events! Grounded! The Return Of Strains Of Strine Future Tense The Clown Prince Of Kolkata Strains Of Strine The Aussies Are Coming!! The Indian Soccer Countdown 2000: Action Replay Banned Aid The Board Meeting Do Catches Win Matches? The United Colours Of Betting Superstars, Supernovas India Down Under Olympian Blunder Sydney Ho! Ha! Sports Reports! Raid Alert! Cronjology It's Not Not Cricket Howzzat? Ask The Third Umpire Kapil Da Jawab Nahin Department Of Cricket, Government Of India Battle Of The Bookies Interview With A Cricket Captain A2Z Of Indian Cricket SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE:
|
| | About Us | Archives | Help | E-mail | Advertise | Legal Crap | Webmaster | | |
| Copyright © 1998-2009 Jaal™ | |
