The autonomy proposal that the Chief Minister of Jammu and Kashmir Farooq Abdullah and his National Conference cohorts recently had passed in the State Assembly has been the subject of quite a heated debate within India. We never pass up on chance on putting forth our view on any subject, therefore, we called upon our team of analysts to put their collective heads together and do what they are supposed to, analyse.
After a few days of work (term used in the loosest possible way), our think tank finally put together a White Paper. We call it that because they presented us with a blank sheet. They explained that given the difference of opinion on the issue, they thought that no opinion could be expressed.
A little persuasion later (a lit cigarette can do wonders), they agreed to rework (that much-abused term) the whole thing. What follows is what they came up with. Though their mandate had been to look at Jammu and Kashmir, they'd happily omitted half the State. Given what they produced, we figured out why these lazy cretins did what they did. They probably thought we'd ask for something on Ladakh as well.
For what it worth (virtually nothing), here's what they delivered:
K is for (what else) Kashmir, that troubled vale. K also stands for Kalashnikovs and Kargil, not to mention Kupwara and killings. Pakistan occupies part of the State, China's has taken over part of it, India has the rest and the Kashmiri are left with Farooq Abdullah. And you wonder why they are rebellious?
A is for Abdullah, Farooq, the Chief Minister. Also for the other two interlinked As, autonomy and Assembly elections. Farooq has done precious little of note over the four years of his tenure. He is rumoured to spend more time in London than Srinagar. His autonomy proposal seeks to put the State outside the purview of the Indian President, Parliament, Supreme Court, Election Commission and other such agencies. And, he claims that all this is within the purview of the Indian Constitution! His proposal's been rejected by the National Democratic Alliance Government at the Centre (of which his party is a part!) because accepting it may have meant federal chaos quicker than you could say balkanisation. Of course, a little arm-twisting by the RSS helped. Farooq needs a platform for the Assembly elections and he gets one either way; whether he'll manage to stave off being wiped out is an interesting matter.
S Srinagar and Shimla, capitals of the Northern states of Kashmir and Himachal Pradesh. The former is as explosive as a dry powder keg can be while the latter is where the eponymous agreement was signed but never honoured.
H is for the Hurriyat, a rag, tag and bobtail collection of myriad Kashmiri groups. There are so many ideological streams here that they quite muddy the waters. But the Centre suddenly seems to be on talking terms with the Hurriyat leadership (maybe the Yanks pulled a couple of strings??). So, the cry in North and South Block is Hip, Hip, Hurriyat while Farooq quakes in fury and fear.
M is for Musharraf. A man with a simple Kashmir policy evidenced by the Kargil conflict. Wants to internationalise the Kashmir issue but cannot get over domestic strife.
I is for India. Also for the ISI and infiltrators who keep the Indian Armed Forces busy. I is also for the International border that the Line of Actual Control has turned out to be.
R is for Rejection of the autonomy proposal. Caving in would have meant setting a precedent wherein every Indian State would have wanted to put the F in federalism to good use.

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