The lord woke up from his sleep, took one look at the calendar, and groaned. The king of chaos will be here pretty soon to brag, he thought, and he was right. I hope he doesn't bring his spin-doctor along, he wished, but it was denied. In fact, a couple of ministers from the court were along as cheerleaders, to completely ruin the lord's morning.
"So it's Independence Day," the lord addressed the bunch later in his garden.
"Yes, milord, fifty-three years of messing up on our own," the king said, and turned towards his spin doctor. "I've got some figures for you."
The spin-doctor stood up, took out his notes and began, "One billion souls and counting."
"One billion living in my kingdom," the king turned towards the lord and boasted, "and we are heading towards a."
"Catastrophe," the lord was sure. "And you call that a living?"
"What to do, lord?" the king shrugged his shoulders. "I keep telling my ministers to leave something for the masses, but nobody listens."
"You listen to me, now," the lord was stern. "I'm tired of visiting havoc on your kingdom just to keep the population down. You better do something on your own."
"Like what?"
"Start with education. Build schools of learning, instead of temples of hate."
"But lord," one of the ministers was up on his feet, "we are only doing it for you, your eternal glory, your everlasting."
"Who is this insufferable soul?" the lord threw up his hands. "Doesn't he know I have nothing to do with god and religion and other inventions of idle minds?"
"Sorry, lord, that's my friend," the king owned up. "Most of the time he's a mere badvani, but sometimes he gets god on his mind, climbs into a Toyota, and becomes a real madvani. Now he'll become a sadvani and sit and sulk for the rest of the morning."
"One million Internet connections and counting." the spin doctor changed the subject.
"Yes, milord, and we're heading towards a new technological dawn," the king tried again.
"But you are in the dark ages where bandwidth is concerned," the lord pointed out.
"What's that?" the king turned towards his minister for communications.
"Don't know," the latter came clean. "Is it something I can dole out free and build a vote-bank with?"
The king turned towards the spin doctor who merely shook his head.
"Nobody's heard of bandwidth?" the lord was astonished.
The threesome squirmed in embarrassed silence while the fourth just sulked, and the spin doctor, in a hurry to change the subject, began reading from the wrong notes.
"Twenty thousand dead and counting." he announced without thinking.
"What are you doing, you fool?" the king hissed and jumped to his feet. Turning to the lord, he apologized.
"Sorry, lord, you know him, he writes bad editorials in his sleep and worse speeches every morning.
Those are his headings. he's not very imaginative. he's probably talking about the death toll in the valley thus far."
"Two thousand dead and counting."
"Sorry, lord, those must be some tuskers down south."
"One hundred dead and counting."
"What is it now?" the lord wanted to know.
"Sorry, lord, those must be some recent pilgrims up north."
"What's happening to your kingdom?" the lord was horrified.
"One hundred dead and counting."
"Sorry, lord, those must be some plane crash victims in the east."
"One hundred dead and counting."
"Now what?" the lord was shocked.
"Sorry, lord, those must be that bandit's other victims."
"One journalist dead and counting."
"Stop it! Stop it!" the king turned towards his spin-doctor and wrestled him to the ground. In the ensuing silence the two ministers tiptoed out without a backward glance. The lord waited for the low drama at his feet to end, waited for the last of the notes to be stuffed into the spin-doctor's mouth.
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself," he let the king off lightly. "Coming up here to brag when you should be down there crying. And I've said it before every August and I'll say it again. give the people independence from politicians."
The king picked himself up and left, swallowing his pride. The spin doctor followed, swallowing his notes.

CLOUD NINE 3

CLOUD NINE 2

CLOUD NINE 1

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