I. The Tantrum Tax: To be imposed on alliance partners of the ruling National Democratic Alliance at the Centre. Each time, one of the "allies" complains, this levy should be exercised. In this manner, the Trinamul Congress and the Telugu Desam should keep the exchequer thrilled. In addition, a similar tax may be levied on other alliance governments throughout the country and a surcharge imposed each time such a coalition government is pulled down.
2. Betting Duty: Since match-fixing and other forms of cricket-related gambling will never go away, why not legalise it? A substantial duty can be imposed thereby ensuring that the likes of M K and Dawood have to apply for PAN numbers.
3. Strike Tax: Every time any government union goes on strike, that particular association should be taxed by the Government in return. This levy can be calculated on the basis of several parameters: Differential rates of a work to rule and a rasta roko for instance. The amounts thus realised can then be paid back to the striking employees to meet their demands.
4. The Ban Levy: Each time some organisation or the other feels aggrieved over a perceived slight and seeks a ban on a film, song, star or event, this tax may be imposed. In this manner, the Shiv Sena and the various organs of the Sangh Parivar will contribute a hell of a lot more to constructive nation-building than otherwise (if at all).
5. The Page 3 Tax: An open-ended scheme along the lines of the Voluntary Disclosure of Income thingie. At the end of each financial year, every celebrity who has appeared on Page 3 of a national daily's masala supplement will be asked to personally appraise the number of photographs or mentions he or she has scored in the past 365 days. As an incentive, a special Page 3 bash can be thrown to announce the winners aka the highest tax-payers.
6. Inflators Tax: To be imposed on the numerous talking heads from financial institutions and other money managers, who appear regularly on business talk shows. In the process, they end up subverting the insider trading norms by subtly inflating the value of the scrips they've either invested in, have underwritten or are otherwise interested in.
7. The Moronic Ads Duty: Have you ever watched the new breed of advertising on television? Have you ever wondered whether the creative departments of the ad agencies are populated entirely by retards who derive their inspiration from firang commercials and simply Indianise them without thinking of context or content? Isn't it time that the Government woke up and taxed these people on the basis of the level of idiocy that each ad attains?
8. The Parliament Tax: To be collected from each political party on the basis of the number of hours per year that their sit-ins, walkouts, squattings and other forms of expression of dissent, have subtracted off the actual business (in constructive terms) that the House has undertaken. A similar scheme can also be extended to State assemblies.
9. The Denial Tax: To be imposed on politicians, Bollywood stars and cricketers who have made denying a statement into a fine art even if they have actually been recorded saying what they so strenuously reject having said. Think about it. In this way, George Fernandes and Jaywant Lele, by themselves, will keep the Government's coffers overflowing.
10. Tax On Stupid Articles: Like this one.

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