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Slum Chums
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 Jhuggi Jhompribad, Aashada, 2001 - Pushing into the backburner, at least for a day, the spectre of Osama bin Laden and the gathering storm, the gritty National Democratic Alliance Government, led in all possible directions by its big and small components has, it is reported, finalised a national policy - hold your breath for a moment - on urban slums.Jaal, as usual, swung into action and interviewed many shades of shady opinion on a possible scenario in the aftermath of this momentous decision by the Central Government, whether we have two ministers or not for Defence and External Affairs, especially when World War III may be on us within days……. The Central Cabinet Minister waxed eloquent on the various parts of the policy, which, he said, will bring cheer to all the inmates of the slums within the next 10 years. He re-emphasised the policy and went on doing it except on ways of implementing it but as usual his press secretary hoped the interview would appear in full the next day. His department Secretary lit his pipe in his own spacious chamber and after contemplating the pipe stem for a considerable time from various angles said he hoped the slums would be looked after. The Opposition Leader hoped in halting Hindi that the slum dwellers would not forget the various benefits that were given to them by her mother-in-law and her husband. She said she would reveal what she would do to the slums when she would be touring the country in the next few years. Almost all the chief ministers of states who Jaal managed to contact were unanimous in welcoming the national policy on slums. They were especially happy the states could announce their own sub-policies within the ambit of the national one. What made them particularly happy was the policy is called National Slum Development Policy and they said they would do all they can to develop more and more slums because that is where they could always get bundles of votes. Of course the size of the bundle would vary if one were the ruling party or the opposition. Revenue department officials in all State governments have been galvanised to locate any number of possible locations for slums in the cities and free land, water, electricity, pavements to live in, protection to deserving hoodlums and training to urchins have all been thought of and worked out to the smallest detail. Even auspicious dates and moments to inaugurate the slums have been identified. When Jaal asked what would happen by 2010, that is the date by which all slums should have been taken care of, nonchalant replies, similar to each other, whether in the north or south or east or west, were the same in content - though they differed in intonation, diction, emphasis or anything else - that is there would be no slums by 2010. Jaal was surprised and asked a supplementary and the reply was 'leave it to the Supreme Court'. The chief ministers were confident that there would be at least one public interest litigation on the subject and the highest court of the land could be expected to thunder sometime in 2008 that all slums should be abolished in the next two years and the Centre would issue an ordinance abolishing all slums and hey presto they would vanish. Amen. Thathastu RECENTLY ON JAAL: Dil Chahta Ha Ha Phooling All The People All The Time Achtung! Poleizi! Talks In Fool Swing Musings On Mush Amma Mia Poll Vault: The Rough Guide Delhi's Traffic Jam Being Believed Extinct Exists!! Truth Or Bare Holi Wholly Unholy Asking For The Moon Excise Excise Bush Speechless The Moron's Hack Miss Whirl Chatterbox 6 Chatterbox 5 Chatterbox 4 Chatterbox 3 Chatterbox 2 Chatterbox 1 Cloud Nine The Son Always Shines Glam Slam Autonomy Retort The Sri Lankan Mulberry Bush Take The Green Quiz A Tiger By The Tail 1000000000+ Chandrachud Rereported The Second Coming Of Bill Are You A Bollywood Buff? SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE:
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