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 So, hey, hope you also enjoyed Atal-Perv show in Islamabad. We enjoyed it too. But our intrepid correspondent, braving vicious poodles and lascivious auto-drivers, managed to return with several details that were, unfortunately, missed out in the mainstream media. Here they are:1) Common currency: When India’s Foreign Minister Yashwant Sinha spoke to a common currency for the region, the Pakis were taken aback and came back with their version of how money could talk. Since they’re having trouble printing enough paper currency given inflation, they proposed that money comprise of the commonest object found in the country. They want the basic denomination to be the Kalashnikov, with 1000 cartridges equaling one. The idea is still being debated. 2) Free trade: The Indians proposed a free trade zone and, unfortunately, the Pakis understood it to be a “free tirade” zone. So they promised to step up the anti-India rhetoric as soon as possible, with the able assistance of the sycophantic Paki press. 3) Exports: The Pakis welcomed the proposal to heighten exports between various countries in the region. In this regard, they pointed out that Pakistan had already been exporting its most durable commodity, the terrorist. However, the Pakistanis complained of India imposing unfair trade barriers on the cross-border movement of the terrorists and sought measures for lifting that. 4) Globalisation: The Pakistan Government is enamoured of the concept of globalisation but Present Pervez Musharraf was vociferous in his criticism of the double standards displayed by countries such as the United States. His basic grouse was that Pakistan was not being allowed to freely distribute its knowhow in creating nuclear arsenals. “Poor Abdul Qadir Khan can make bombs for every country that wants one, but those damn Yankees keep talking about crap like non-proliferation,’ he is understood to have stated. 5) Democracy: The Pakis also welcomed the concept of democracy and pointed out that it already had in place a Lincolnesque structure: Government for the Armed Force, by the Armed Forces and of the Armed Forces. 6) Extradition: While India has demanded the extradition of various luminaries such as Dawood Ibrahim, this has not quite caught the imagination of the Pakistani public. After all, Ibrahim and others like the Memons are being considered for the Nishaan-e-Pakistan. However, as a sop to Indian sentiment, they did promise to consider extraditing Usma Jehangir and Inzamam Ul-Haq to India, whether or nor India wants them. 7) Kashmir: While Kashmir did feature on the agenda during closed door meetings, the Pakis returned to their refrain of seeking a plebiscite in the State under the guidance of observers from groups such as the Lashkar-e-Toiba and the Hizbul Mujahideen, so that “free and fair” polling could be conducted along the lines of that which anointed Musharraf the President of Pakistan. 8) Line of Control: While there were discussions that the Line of Control be converted to an international border, the Pakis demurred. A senior Pakistani Foreign Ministry official pointed out, “We have no control, we do not understand meaning of control. Look at the ISI and the mullahs and you’ll know what I mean.” 9) Cultural ties: While the Pakistan Government was unhappy with the prospect of cultural pollution oozing in from India if people-to-people contacts were allowed, they were perfectly willing to exchange Bipasha Basu or Dino Morea (depending on taste and sexual proclivities) for Usma Jehangir and Inzamam Ul-Haq. 10) Neighbourliness: Bhutan came in for trenchant criticism from the Pakistani officials for having subverted the SAARC charter by flushing out anti-India terrorists from its soil. A senior ISI official said, “Think of the crores we have invested in the ULFA and you’ll realize why this action by Bhutan does not make for good relations. After all, Bhutan must also realize that Assam needs the ULFA just as we need Pervez Musharraf.” RECENTLY ON JAAL: UN-American New York, Old Delhi The Worm Turns A Prophecy Belied Feet Feat Saddam, Here We Come (Again) Season's Gratings Osama In Bollywood Sab Maya Hai If The Taliban Win... Vox Judicutura! Wanted: A Governor Gift Cow Et Al Diaspora Disgust Chitti Chitti Bong Bong Off Course Pol Poll: Are You A Neta Wannabe? The Raj Strikes Back The EMail Of The Species Kandahar Ka Kaana Raja The World Is Not Enough Back To Squire One Poll Gita Where There's A Bill, There's A Wait DotComs, By The Numbers GoI-ing After Veerappan The Bore-Gush Race Hack Attack! Eee! Governance! Justice Unbound Small States, Large Stakes Con Banega Crorepati Salesman No. 1 Cat And Meows 25 Years After Paswan Goes DOTty Child's Play Toilet Paper Drought And About Boer Boar The Joke's On You The Coming Of Bill SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE: ?
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