|
|
|
|
Pell Mall
|
||
|
 |
 By Da BullNow the other day Moz was in Bombay and I took him to see the city. We went loafing in South Bombay to these fancy malls, which have burgeoned all over urban India. These lovely sweet smelling malls with escalators, air conditioning, un-spat walls, well-dressed attendants, clean loos and computerized bills are in stark contrast to the world I live in daily. I call these the sparkling temples of modern India and my dear friend Moz insists that my usage of "Nehruisms", in such a trivial manner, is preposterous. I quipped back that in times such as these Nehru should be glad that someone quotes him at all. Now after a while Moz tired of the window-shopping and said that he wanted to have some chai and something to eat. Now between a writer and socialist there is never enough to buy those lovely pizzas and pastas. Chai in the mall costs 15 bucks and paani puris were Rs. 20 for 5. (Now I know that they use Mineral water for paani puris and they have clean plates but 20 bucks for 5?) I told Moz that this place was meant for tourists and that I would get him real Bombay stuff, the vada pav and Cutting chai. So we stepped out from Pleasure Island back into Goo-land and started making our way through the crowds to my favourite vada pav stall. Anna who ran the stall was an old friend of mine and I had been a regular for the last many years. On reaching the place where he had conducted business for so many years I found that his handcart was no longer there. Neither was the guy who sold Cutting chai next to him. Moz began taking jibes at my sense of direction and kept insisting we were in the wrong place. I wondered if he was right since most of the stalls were gone and yet this had to be the place since the McDonalds was at the corner of this road. I asked an old chowkidar in one of the buildings as to what had happened to the stalls. He asked me, "Sahib! Don't you read the papers?" I said, "Haan but last few weeks headlines have been mainly about the war, its impact on the stock markets and the cricket series." He smiled with a trace of sadness and said, "Sahib! These NGO FENGO people have said that there is no place for walking and so the government has evicted the hawkers. After 10 years of being used to Aseem Bhai's tea, very difficult to manage without his 5 cups of Cutting." I headed back to meet Moz who was pretty hungry and angry by now. Just then a group of two three smartly dressed people stepped out of their shiny car and soon there were some people taking photographs of these people. On asking I found out that they were members of the NGO responsible for making the pavements walker friendly and were being photographed here to show how clean the pavements were now. I apprised Moz of the situation and he was livid. He called it a capitalist plot and accosted the pretty woman from the NGO. He thundered, "I want to have Vada Pav and Cutting and thanks to you I can't. What do you have to say?" Unruffled by this outburst, she smiled at Moz and pointed towards the end of the road and said, "If you can't have Vada Pav and Cutting then have a Big Mac and Coke. Sab maya hai!" Moz red with rage was spluttering, "Marie Antoniette..Marie…" and I was glad to see that we could now claim that ancient Indian wisdom had inspired the French revolution. RECENTLY ON JAAL: Who's Afraid Of Sonia G? The Babu Web Election Anthrax Graduate With Osama Slum Chums Dil Chahta Ha Ha Phooling All The People All The Time Achtung! Poleizi! Talks In Fool Swing Musings On Mush Amma Mia Poll Vault: The Rough Guide Delhi's Traffic Jam Being Believed Extinct Exists!! Truth Or Bare Holi Wholly Unholy Asking For The Moon Excise Excise Bush Speechless The Moron's Hack Miss Whirl Chatterbox 6 Chatterbox 5 Chatterbox 4 Chatterbox 3 Chatterbox 2 Chatterbox 1 Cloud Nine The Son Always Shines Glam Slam Autonomy Retort The Sri Lankan Mulberry Bush Take The Green Quiz A Tiger By The Tail 1000000000+ Chandrachud Rereported The Second Coming Of Bill Are You A Bollywood Buff? SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE:
|
| | About Us | Archives | Help | E-mail | Advertise | Legal Crap | Webmaster | | |
| Copyright © 1998-2001 Jaal™ | nEtAhOy ! |
