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Fudging The Judges
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 My fellow countrymen,It is often lamented that powerful politicians and dignitaries often escape the arm of the law, while innocent (?) ones like you and me are hauled to court over the most frivolous charges. At last, we have a reason to smile. Proving that we are a democratic country to the core, and that we respect the Right to Equality, a benevolent magistrate in Ahmedabad has issued warrants to His Excellency The President of India, His Honour The Chief Justice of India, among others! A sting operation it was, and it stung quite deep into the very bones of the Third Estate – the Judiciary. Playing spoilsport, the mischievous member of the Fourth Estate who had ‘donated’ 40,000 bucks to the magistrate blew the whistle, even before the warrants were executed. Writhing in pain, the Supreme Court of India ordered the CBI to seize the relevant file and investigate into the case. Alas, the magistrate was duly suspended and the warrants were presumably rendered void. Enraged legal luminaries in Ahmedabad began bashing up any media person who came into their line of vision. Cameras were smashed and reporters thrashed, yet their collective anger hadn’t subsided a bit. A little birdie, sitting on the branch just outside the window of the bar association room, told me what it had overheard – Gruff Voice: “What cheek the fellow has – to sting a judge! He should not be left alone like that.” Thin Voice: “But what can we do? His Honour has landed in a presidential soup just because he refused to listen to me!” A hush descended on the room. “What?! Did you tell His Honour not to accept bribes?!” screamed the men-in-black in obvious disbelief. Thin Voice (becoming thinner): “No! I advised His Honour to buy a new pair of spectacles. At least, he could have read the names of the President, the CJ and others before issuing that warrant.” Loud Voice: “Possibly His Honour didn’t take your advice ‘coz he feared you might send him a fat bill for it. Anyways, now, what can we do to teach that journo a lesson?” Gruff Voice: “Why don’t we go to his home and thrash him up?” Loud Voice: “No! The grapevine has it that the Presidential Guard are providing him protection.” Thin Voice (flabbergasted): “But…but, why should the men-on-horses provide protection to that black-hearted hack?? Loud Voice: “I wonder how you got your legal licence to practise! Shouldn’t the President be grateful to a man who had prevented his arrest? If the dude had kept quiet, by now, the cops would have been swarming all over the Rashtrapati Bhavan trying to locate the accused man with flowing locks!” Thin Voice: “Thank God that didn’t happen! But what do we do to avenge this insult?” Gruff Voice: “I have an idea! Wonder why it didn’t strike me until now! We have to launch a counter-sting operation against that villain!” A loud roar of approval swept through the room, making my feathered friend a bit nervous. Yet, curiosity made him stay perched on the branch. Obviously the Jogi-Judeo episode was fresh on his birdbrain! Wheezing Voice: “That’s a terrific idea, my learned friend! We can offer him money to write a news report saying that the Prime Minister sexed up the Kargil file!” Uncertain Voice: “Oh, just like the BBC did to Tony Blair? That’s a fait accompli, which made the top brass at the media house to resign!” Thin Voice: “But then… is a corrupt journalist a newsworthy topic in India? Anyway, the public are aware that journalists are offered gifts and money by any corporate honcho who wants to grin out of newspaper pages.” Weak Voice: “Yeah, and politicians sexing up files is a non-issue with zero news value in India.” Gruff Voice: “Hmm…so, its impossible to get mileage out of corrupting the known corrupt. Even if we could do it, I wonder if the newspapers and TV channels would expose one of their own.” Cultured Voice: “But I have another idea! Why don’t we get a magistrate to issue a warrant to this journalist for Contempt of Court? After all, the man has contemptuously tried to sting a First Class Magistrate.” The room erupted in a roar of approval and whistles, having found the perfect way to seek revenge. Cultured Voice (reverentially): “Hello? Your Honour? Mumble… mumble… psst… psst…. … murmur… murmur…gasp!” A long gap of silence, while all the lawyers wait impatiently. Cultured Voice: “Ye…err…yes, Your Honour, I understand. I shall call you back after consulting my associates.” Click! Cultured Voice: “Well fellas, the magistrate wants 40,000 bucks to issue a bailable warrant against the guy.” A rolling stone who gathers all the moss, Mathew Joseph is the Creative Director of Radiant Advertising & Marketing (India) Pvt. Ltd., Kolkata RECENTLY ON JAAL: SAARCasm UN-American New York, Old Delhi The Worm Turns A Prophecy Belied Feet Feat Saddam, Here We Come (Again) Season's Gratings Osama In Bollywood Sab Maya Hai If The Taliban Win... Vox Judicutura! 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