"I am proud to have Dick Cheney by my side," US President George W Bush said recently. Fine. But the question is: Does Dick Cheney want Bush Jr?
In the year 2000, George Bush appointed Cheney to head the Vice-President search committee, and Cheney, in his usual modest manner, nominated himself. In the year 2004, Bush wants to give him the job again.
The speculation is that Bush wants to replace Cheney with someone else, someone with a heart, not just heart attacks. Among those shortlisted are supposed to be Dan Quayle (who would love to team up with “Gorge”) and Colin Powell, who wants to be even more of a non-entity in the administration, a larger token.
However, Jaalmag.com has learnt from soused White House sources that Dick Cheney is just about ready to ditch Dubya. He told friends privately that he was “sick of the Dick and Bush jokes.”
He is expected to make a startling announcement to the media from whichever bunker he is currently hiding in.
Cheney is exploring the option of a Republican ticket featuring him both as Presidential candidate as well as for the post of Vice-President. Though the Constitutional validity of such an effort is vague, Cheney is banking on fishing pal Antonin Scalia to see it through the Supreme Court. The other alternative is to have Halliburton for Vice-President, though Cheney is not to keen on the association of Dick and Oil, though such a campaign would not be short of funds.
However, in case that does not happen, Cheney is already looking for an alternate running mate. And among the favourites is Louisiana politician, Bobby Jindal. “Bobby,” Cheney told friends, according to conversation recorded by Linda Tripp, “is better than George. He’s young and vibrant, unlike George, who’s middle-aged.” Cheney also believes that since Jindal never served in the Armed Forces, issues such as the National Guard allegations pestering Bush would be immaterial.
In addition, Jindal’s extreme Christian views also make Bush seem like a choirboy and warm the cockles of Cheney’s hear, or would have if he had one. “Jindal’s conservatism make me look like a moderate,” Cheney told his friends, though it was not immediately certain whether it was Dick himself or a lookalike.
Cheney also believes that having a Native American on his ticket would help him reach out to the minority voters. “It would be great to have an Indian with me,” he said. When it was pointed out that Jindal actually is an Indian from India, Cheney scoffed and said, “Next you’ll be telling me Colin Powell isn’t an African!”
While there is no formal comment on the rumour from Bobby Jindal, he is apparently thrilled at the idea of running with Cheney. “The thing is to get into the Administration somehow, even if it means partnering whatshisname,” Jindal is reported to have told colleagues working with him on his campaign to enter Congress.
However, Cheney has not altogether forgotten Bush and is more than willing to find him a sinecure elsewhere, possibly as the next President of Iraq.




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