College was very productive today. We learnt that dummies work even in the worm world -- the earthworms principally.
The story: The day was cloudy & pleasant. Lunch Time. My tiffin box was being handed around like everyone else’s. One of my pals had brought Maggi (you know, the yummy fast-to-cook-good-to-eat noodles?) in a tiny weenie tiffin box (we call it the microcarrier-the only tiffin box that is half the size of our stomach...PING! Advertisement over).
Now before I proceed I'd like to let you in on something that might sound slightly blasphemous if you are a direct (or indirect) descendent of the Victorian Lineage- our lunch time is synonymous with orgy time. And our sole-cum-soul ambition is to be reborn as Hansel or Gretel of fairyland (remember the cottage made of cakes n cookies? Yummy!) We pig out like there is no tommorrow, the concept which has been drilled into our heads by our adorable professors who keep chanting, "Do your daily lessons. Study like there's no tomorrow."
Of course when the exam is a week away, the tune changes to -- study like the exam is on tomorrow! argggh! Didn't they just say there's no tomorrow?! The logical conclusion would be there are no exams?! Ahem, let me not dwell on such paradoxical lines and get back to my story.
As I was saying, this gal's tiffin box was tiny and food laden and in our rush to get to the bottom of things, namely the tiffin box, we carelessly dropped a couple of Maggi strands on terra firma.
Long yellow strands of Maggi strewn over the ground.
I didn't notice them till I spied with my li'l eye a teeny head that belonged to an earthworm (Don't sue me. I'm presuming that it was indeed an earthworm...I don't know its taxanomical class and stuff), wriggling its way out of the earth.
Now I didn't have much to do besides awaiting the return of my tiffin box (99.99% empty of course). You guessing the next line? Yeah...the clouds parted and the sun shone right through and bingo the idea of the century popped up in the convoluted matter in my cranium. And I didn't see any harm in forging right ahead and indulging in a rather interesting and ingenious scientific experiment --Would the worm try to mate with the Maggi? Especially since the Maggi is actually fairer than the normal worms (analogous to the dud(E)s falling for the fair skinned babes -- Dincha get it?!) Wokay, you had better not read any further IF you are the speak no evil, see no evil, read no evil type of the 3rd para. Else,read on.
I prodded (gently! I swear!) the worm towards a Maggi strand till it sensed its presence. And boy was it excited or what! It apparently couldn't figure out the Maggi's sex & whooped with joy on realizing the possibilities of it being a fellow worm -- a potential mate!
It sort of went round 'n' round like sum erotic slow-motioned mating dance...which later in our ‘mate-of-the-day’ thesis paper we put down as mating. Oh you know how these papers are taken by the general public, in this case my fellow hoggers! They bestowed upon me the title ‘matchmaker of the century’. Apparently these people haven't been married or aren't watching enough of TV...the ‘chitti’* sort of serials at least. I just hope the pimp worms weren't watching or reading this...then today could go down in the history of worm-land and the worm pimps would sneak into kitchens and drag along strands of Maggi and, yeah, they'd share the profit with us. Rather ‘cast’ their profit.
(Sigh)
At least I made a wormy-wriggly happy today. My good deed for the day(hear me oh heavens!)
*chitti is a lousy Tamil TV serial down south

Taruni Ramakrishnan

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