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Queen Sonia, The First
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 Ladies and gentlemen, this can't be true. We must be the victims of the world's biggest hoax. No, I'm not talking about President Bush's military service. This is far more earthshaking than that. This concerns the world's largest democracy, India, which just held a general election. A general election, as my Pakistani and Nigerian readers will tell you, is an election in which the general gets elected. But India did not have a general running for office, so what did the 380 million voters do? They kicked out the incumbent prime minister and replaced him, in effect, with an Italian-born woman named Sonia Gandhi, making her the first white woman to rule India since Her Majesty Queen Victoria. At least that's what we've been told.You can believe it if you wish, but as for me, I'm not that gullible. I don't read horoscopes and I don't open emails that say, "Keep her begging for more." And I'm certainly not going to believe that Indians have elected an Italian-born woman as prime minister, especially since Italians have never done so themselves. (Perhaps the Italians are waiting to elect an Indian-born woman as their prime minister? Yes, soon after they put mutton curry on their pasta.) At first, I wanted to believe. I was thrilled about the thought of Sonia Gandhi, leader of the Congress Party and widow of former prime minister Rajiv Gandhi, serving as prime minister. I hadn't been this excited about race relations since Oprah gave a big hug to Michael Jackson. I even tried to share the good news with my American friends: Me: "Guess what, Mike? India just gave the prime minister's seat to a white woman?" Mike: "How come? Is the prime minister getting a new seat?" Me: "No, you don't understand. A white woman is assuming the prime minister's position." Mike: "Which position? Stooping? Kneeling? Sleeping?" Me: "The position of prime minister, silly. A white woman is becoming the new prime minister of India." Mike: "Yeah, right. Next you're going to tell me that President Bush is really a Martian." Me: "Well, guess which planet he wants to spend billions on." Needless to say, I began to have doubts myself. After all, discrimination is prevalent in India and skin color seems to be a national obsession, so how could this nation of predominantly brown people entrust their future in white hands? Were they truly unconcerned about her race or did they simply get fooled by her tan? "Is she white? Is she brown? Who gives a darn, she wears a sari and says, 'Namaste.'” I also thought about the status of women in Indian society, how some enjoy immense freedom while others are constrained by the men around them. American women enjoy many rights, yet in almost 230 years, none has gotten even a sniff of the presidency (except perhaps after his morning jog). So how could it be possible that Indians have elected another woman as prime minister, their second in 20 years? The more I thought about it, the more unbelievable it seemed, this story of Sonia Gandhi. A white woman leading India? It would be an amazing story, if only it were true. Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer, humorist and occasional stand-up comedian. A native of India, he grew up in Zambia and moved to the US in the early 1980s. Read his previous columns at http://www.melvindurai.com. Write to him at comments@melvindurai.com RECENTLY ON JAAL: Fudging The Judges SAARCasm UN-American New York, Old Delhi The Worm Turns A Prophecy Belied Feet Feat Saddam, Here We Come (Again) Season's Gratings Osama In Bollywood Sab Maya Hai If The Taliban Win... Vox Judicutura! Wanted: A Governor Gift Cow Et Al Diaspora Disgust Chitti Chitti Bong Bong Off Course Pol Poll: Are You A Neta Wannabe? The Raj Strikes Back The EMail Of The Species Kandahar Ka Kaana Raja The World Is Not Enough Back To Squire One Poll Gita Where There's A Bill, There's A Wait DotComs, By The Numbers GoI-ing After Veerappan The Bore-Gush Race Hack Attack! Eee! Governance! Justice Unbound Small States, Large Stakes Con Banega Crorepati Salesman No. 1 Cat And Meows 25 Years After Paswan Goes DOTty Child's Play Toilet Paper Drought And About Boer Boar The Joke's On You The Coming Of Bill SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE: ?
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