By Da Bull

1.Try this one - What is the number of states in India?
a.22
b.25
c.26
d.28
Now if you said (d) you would have the right answer. But the Maharashtra board has decreed that for this years SSC examination both (b) and (d) are correct answers. Apparently the textbooks printed before January 2001 had 25 which was correct then and the textbooks printed after say 28 to include Chattisgarh, Uttaranchal and Jharkhand. Explanations vary from "textbooks were not printed in time" to "a human lapse." The teachers of course have accused the government of confusing the students abut geography.
2.After history the Government has now decided to introduce Vedic Rituals under the aegis of the UGC. The new course for aspiring priests is called Paurohitya Pathyakaram and will have its own department, the Department of Karmakand. The idea, is to produce trained priests for those living in Canada, US, UK and Indonesia, according to UGC Chairman Hari Gautam. Entirely believable this and there is more. The Christians Sikhs and Muslims want the UGC to fund similar courses for these religions as wells. I wonder how long before the Buddhists, Jains, and Parsis join the party.
3.This is a quote from Kirti Azad the famous cricketer and now BJP MP. He has taken it upon himself to revitalize the state of Cricket in Bihar. Here is what he says (the words in brackets are mine), "Why should cricket and cricketers in Bihar suffer? If Bihar can boast of the first four universities in the world (too bad that no Univ from Bihar is recognized elsewhere in the country today), the first democracy (the only whiff that the poor Biharis ever got of democracy), Buddha, Mahavir, Ashoka and Vishwamitra (four thousand year old icons); if we can talk of Janak and Sita (too bad Ram missed out on the party), Rajendra Prasadjee and Gandhiji (They would have been worried about cricket I am sure), here in Champaran, it is about time that Bihari sportspersons make their mark on the world stage. (Unfortunately you can't have a free for all at the Olympics medal ceremony, else Bihar wins more golds than the US and Russia put together)"
4.Those of you who have been to Chennai would have noticed the unique style of all those Rajnikanth look-alike auto drivers. The first word out of their mouth is Extra, even if you are asking them for directions, they don't believe in change whether it be of clothes or when it comes to the fare - rounding up to the next highest multiple of 5 is the order of the day. That they have meters is cause to celebrate since I have never understood why should they bother fitting something which they more often than not refuse to turn down or else have tampered so completely that they might as well put a gun to your head and ask for fares. Now none of this seems very unusual, what does give this story a strange twist though is that either vehicle inspectors own most of the autos - these are the chaps responsible for ensuring that the meters are untampered and that the vehicle is road fit - or policemen. The icing on the cake is that senior police officers claim that they are going to turn things around - sure they will put an axe to the branch they sit on.
5.There was this model called Jessica Lal. Now she got shot down in a high society party for refusing to fill up the glasses of some young studs. Now in-spite of it being a crowded party with a hundred or so guests it seems no one saw her being shot. So the killers are still being tried in court. All of which is so believable in Gandhi's country of "See no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil". What is fantastic though is the fact that one of the accused a certain Mr. Vikas Yadav is now contesting the elections from UP, even more fantastic is the fact that most people in the constituency where he is standing have no idea of the fact that he is being tried at all. I of course am waiting for him to get elected and then say, "That the people's court has acquitted me!" I am outta here folks!




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