Laughing Stock Logo Jaal eZine - desi satire desi satire Jaal eZine TOC
10 Reasons Why Bride & Prejudice Was Delayed

Main Story Main Story

Slang Match Slang Match

Fair Game Fair Game

Smear Scape Smear Scape

Calumny Column Calumny Column

HateEmail HATe-mail

Spins & Needles Spins & Needles

As you probably know, Bride & Prejudice was originally scheduled to open in the United States in late December. However, that was postponed to February 11. While Miramax didn’t give out a good enough reason for the delay, we, at Jaal, have a few theories:

1. The Miramax people found out that Salman Khan was traveling to New York City and didn’t want the red carpet event to be spotted with Aishwarya Rai’s blood.

2. Vivek Oberoi (The Man Known As Ash’s Boyfriend) wanted Ash to give up her film career since no one knew, or gave a damn, about who he was. She refused and he started dating Salman Khan. But, some of the romance still lingered and Ash had to visit him in the Intensive Care Unit.

3. After the lukewarm critical and box office response to the film in England and India, Gurinder Chadha decided to replace leading man, Martin Henderson, with someone with better screen presence and acting ability. They replaced him with Spongebob Squarepants.

4. To make it even more multicultural, Gurinder Chadha decided to have the entire film dubbed in Spanish.

5. Since Miramax found out that the entire soundtrack for the film had been filched by Anu Malik from a 1980s album by Tears for Fears, all the songs had to be deleted and they were left with 14 minutes of the movie.

6. Because of the lack of box office enthusiasm, Gurinder Chadha decided to insert a soccer scene in the film and Ash had to undergo training with Diego Maradona.

7. Because of the lack of box office enthusiasm, Gurinder Chadha decided to insert a scene in the film where the actors actually acted and Ash had to undergo training with Ashton Kutcher.

8. Miramax didn’t want the film to compete with other events that would pull the audience away from it, like the Superbowl, Christmas, New Year’s at Times Square, the National Thumb Twiddling Championships, etc.

9. Jane Austen turned in her grave after the film came out and sue Gurinder Chadha.

10. They realized that Naveen Andrews was in the film and were trying to locate him in Hawaii.






RECENTLY ON JAAL:

America The Bountiful
The Osama Interview
Main Naraaz Soniaji Se
The President Of Vice
The Case Of The Fake Santa
Two Top Tenors
The Worm Turns
America's War Against Terror Vs India's Terror Against War
To Saffronazis: A Doggerel
Believe It Or Nuts
25 Ways To Annoy Osama
More NYC Pix
Target: India?
More Suspects Behind Phoolan's Murder
Six More Programmes Ekta Can Produce
The Kathmandu Conundrum
The Beginner's Guide To Surviving Lucknow
Bandit Junta's Plaint
The Beginner's Guide To Surviving Bangalore
The Prime Payee's Lament
The Tehelka Tapes: Dramatic Personae
Saint or Sinha?
10 Taxes We Require
10 Aftershocks In Gujarat
The Return Of Are You A Bollywood Buff
The Beginner's Guide To Surviving Bombay...er...Mumbai
10 News Reports We Wish We'd Seen In 2000
10 Game Shows For Indian TV
Another Indian XI
The Indian Internet Irritation
10 Reasons No One Noticed Putin
10 Other Ways To Make Money Off KBC
10 Persons Vajpayee Should Meet In The US
The Beginners Guide To Surviving Chennai
The Beginners Guide To Surviving Calcutta
The Beginners Guide To Surviving Delhi
10 Olympic Events That Should Be Introduced
10 Rules For A Bollywood Blockbuster
Fiji:The Ready Reckoner
10 Cyberlaw Proposals That Are Still Pending
10 Deadly Desi Viruses
Match Fixing Q&A
EZ Stories 4 U
5 Places Bill Should've Gone



SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE:
Mail The Editor


GAMES LINKS FREE INDIA DOWNLOADS
JOKES HOROSCOPES ECARDS POLL

| About Us | Archives | Help | E-mail | Advertise | Legal Crap | Webmaster |
Copyright © 1998-2005 Jaal™ nEtAhOy !