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Outsourcing Our Work To India
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 The hot topic in America these days, other than terrorism and gay marriage (which some people seem to dread equally), is outsourcing. American companies are moving thousands of jobs abroad, not just low-wage jobs but also the ones performed by high-skilled workers, some of whom are earning so much money, they qualify for the president’s tax cuts. (There’s nothing like a little tax relief to help pay for the Lexus.)Many of the jobs are going to India and China, where people are delighted to work for a sixth of what an American worker would earn, failing to realize, in their excitement, that their children might have to do without cell phones. Not to mention separate bathrooms. Some experts believe that outsourcing is good for America’s economy, that other jobs will be created to replace the ones being lost. This is already happening to an extent, with hundreds of people being hired to provide counseling for the unemployed. Other new jobs include outsourcing coordinators, Mandarin translators, and used Lexus salesmen. But outsourcing has angered some politicians and labor unions, who want to see it outlawed. They’re concerned, naturally, that America will lose too many jobs, that the only jobs we'll be left with are nose jobs. They don't want American workers to fall victim to corporate greed and unfair competition. Indeed, the rules of employment are quite different in some countries: You don’t get any benefits, you don’t have something called “FICA” deducted from your paychecks, and you don’t have to buy cookies from your co-workers’ children. Even so, I’m reluctant to denounce outsourcing, not because it benefits the economy, but because I’ve come to realize, after much research, that I can outsource my column. From now on, it will be written by a man in India named Raj Balakrishnan. He’s agreed to email a new column to me every week and I’ve promised to send him a monthly check for a couple of grand. That’s rupees, not dollars, but he’ll be happy with it, just as I’ll be happy with the remaining 80 percent of what editors pay me. It’s a win-win situation. He writes the columns, I write the checks, we both look employed. If Rajender works out (he has a good sense of humor, but a bad sense of grammar), I hope to outsource another task to him: visiting my in-laws. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it. I've given him an incentive: He can help himself to any goodies my mother-in-law cooks – as long as he remembers to send me 80 percent. As you can see, outsourcing does have some benefits. In the long run, it could improve many products and services. America has long taken advantage of free trade and the global economy – you can find American products almost everywhere – and it’s only fair that some of the developing countries do, too. Perhaps it will bring a little balance to the world, help narrow the gap between rich and poor countries, give a few more Indians the opportunity to make my life easier. American workers should have faith that more jobs will be created here, that they won’t have to run across the border to Mexico. After all, the ingenuity that made America what it is today can never be outsourced. RECENTLY ON JAAL: Expect More Excitement In 2004 Talk Is Cheap A Saint Like No Other Happiness Doesn't Need To Cost Much Goodbye Idibhai Unfinished Business The Worms Rule Pell Mall Who's Afraid Of Sonia G? The Babu Web Election Anthrax Graduate With Osama Slum Chums Dil Chahta Ha Ha Phooling All The People All The Time Achtung! Poleizi! Talks In Fool Swing Musings On Mush Amma Mia Poll Vault: The Rough Guide Delhi's Traffic Jam Being Believed Extinct Exists!! Truth Or Bare Holi Wholly Unholy Asking For The Moon Excise Excise Bush Speechless The Moron's Hack Miss Whirl Chatterbox 6 Chatterbox 5 Chatterbox 4 Chatterbox 3 Chatterbox 2 Chatterbox 1 Cloud Nine The Son Always Shines Glam Slam Autonomy Retort The Sri Lankan Mulberry Bush Take The Green Quiz A Tiger By The Tail 1000000000+ Chandrachud Rereported The Second Coming Of Bill Are You A Bollywood Buff? Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer, humorist and occasional stand-up comedian. A native of India, he grew up in Zambia and moved to the US in the early 1980s. Read his previous columns at http://www.melvindurai.com SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE:
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