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The Bandit
You know what's unfair? Calling me Vikram Bandit. These Americans can never get the pronunciation of Indian names right!
And what I like even less is when those with MBAs, the top CEOs of America, are reviled. For instance, this was not a bailout plan for Wall Street honchos. No, it was not the Troubled Asses Rescue Plan. Or as former Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee put it, the Congressional Relief Action Program or CRAP.
This is truly unfair. It's just $1.5 trillion, people. Without us wizzes minding your bizzes (hey, I get money management tips from P Diddy), that could have been $3 trillion or more. So, here's the bottomline, you need high paid executives to lose megabucks. What? You'd rather catch some bum off the street and ask him to take over my job? You think he'd do better? No, don't answer that question.
As you know, we at Citigroup have only taken a $45 billion handout...er...bailout. That's peanuts. That's how much we paid out in bonuses this decade. You know, the bonuses for the brilliant MBAs who made Citi what it is today. Okay, maybe that's not a great way to put it. But we need to pay major salaries and humongous bonuses to retain our best people. Without our best people, where would we be? No, don't answer that either.
No, we didn't want to lose our best people. They'd leave. I understand that McDonald's and Wal-Mart are hiring. Do you know what would happen if they quit and went there? McDonald's and Wal-Mart would go under. Do you want that to happen?
Then again, I must mention that I've decided to take a salary of $1 per year, no bonuses. You ask why when we argue that the best people need to be adequately compensated so they stay on. Ummm...I'm not going to answer that and no, those rumours about my resume being sent out to a call center in NOIDA is just not correct. Damn, I wish I had not paid my taxes the last few years otherwise President Barack Obama may have nominated me to a Cabinet berth. Hmmm...maybe our creative accountants can find a way to fix that.
I'll tell you this. During my tenure, Citi's stock price is at an impressive $2.50. Ignore that image on the left graphing our stock price. Scoff all you want but that is higher than the gross capital of Iceland, and that doesn't mean Reykjavik, you morons.
I told Congress very clearly: "I get the new reality and I will make sure Citi gets it too." Yes, the reality is that when we need another $50 billion or so, we can always go back to the US Congress for more.
Anyhow, Citi is committed to keeping homeowners in their homes and not defaulting on their mortgages. For instance, I know of one homeowner who has an $18 million apartment facing Central Park in Manhattan and needs to pay his mortgage. I'm not telling you who that is but you should remember the old adage: Charity begins at home.
Finally, I must put at rest all speculation that we have renamed Citibank. No, at this time at least, it is not called Citibankrupt.





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