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| 10 Celeb Stories We Want To See |
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 As you are aware, the Indian media has been busy lately. Matters of great consequence for the future of the nation have been diligently pursued by our newshounds. Matters like the Aishwarya Rai-Abhishek Bachchan marriage or the Richard Gere-Shilpa Shetty smoochathon. Of course, once the star couple have coupled and produced 8 children, there will be little interest in them or Gere has apologized. But our nations great newsgatherers need to be kept busy. Here are some ideas:1. Salman Khan Marries Salman Khan: No one actually wants to marry him so Salman will have to settle for himself and go beyond what even gay activists in American have not managed: Not just a same-sex marriage, but a same-same marriage! Of course, that may mean Salman will often emerge with black eyes and bruises but that’s only because he’ll be beating himself up. 2. Salman Khan Marries A Black Buck: Let’s go over the previous entry once again and make a proviso: No human will marry Salman Khan. However, that does not exclude the animal kingdom and in the name of conservation and to redeem himself, Salman can always wed a black buck with the Bishnois conducting the ceremony. Here’s hoping the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals does not get involved. 3. Richard Gere Kisses Aishwarya Rai: At an event marking the growth of the Dalai Lama’s eighteenth nostril hair. Richard Gere will hold a special fundraiser in India and commence smooching Aishwarya Rai with far greater passion than he (or anyone else, for that matter) could ever muster up (or pucker up) for Shilpa Shetty. 4. Shilpa Shetty Kisses Aishwarya Rai: Not only do we want that to happen, we want the video so we can watch it in super slomo. 5. Aishwarya Rai Abhishek Bachchan Split: There’s nothing juicier than a marriage than a divorce. Think of the reams of copy and the hours of footage that can be generated by the star pair decoupling due to the entries above. 6. Shilpa Shetty Splits: The Celebrity Big Brother winner turns schizo and splits into two neat personalities. One that keeps her lips under lockdown and the other that believes in liplocks. 7. Liz Hurley Marries Abhishek Bachchan: After having split from Arun Nayar and Aishwarya Rai respectively, Hurley and Bachchan Junior decide to tie the knot and in the process Amitabh Bachchan gets insulted by Hurley. How much more juice can you get? 8. Angelina Jolie Adopts Shilpa Shetty: The entire country was so disappointed when the serial adopter came to India along with Brad Pitt and forgot to adopt a child. That was an insult to the entire country. But Jolie can correct that by adopting either of Shilpa’s split personalities. 9. Angelina Jolie Adopts Sachin Tendulkar: Nobody in the country seems to have any love left for Sachin, after he once again proved he can never come through when India really need a big knock from him. So, Tendulkar needs careful nurturing and affection and who better to provide it than Angelina? 10. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie Split: After having put up with various children from various parts of the world and unable to keep track of them, Pitt finally gets so agitated over Jolie’s adoption of Shilpa Shetty and Sachin, that he gives up on the relationship and goes off to meditate in the Himalayas with Richard Gere. RECENTLY ON JAAL: Bastards Of Bollywood 10 Reasons Shashi Tharoor Lost Do You Have A Reservation? Diwali Crackers What's In A Rape? Mush Mush Pakistan Isn't It Strange... The Beauty List 10 Reasons Why Bride & Prejudice Was Delayed America The Bountiful The Osama Interview Main Naraaz Soniaji Se The President Of Vice The Case Of The Fake Santa Two Top Tenors The Worm Turns America's War Against Terror Vs India's Terror Against War To Saffronazis: A Doggerel Believe It Or Nuts 25 Ways To Annoy Osama More NYC Pix Target: India? More Suspects Behind Phoolan's Murder Six More Programmes Ekta Can Produce The Kathmandu Conundrum The Beginner's Guide To Surviving Lucknow Bandit Junta's Plaint The Beginner's Guide To Surviving Bangalore The Prime Payee's Lament The Tehelka Tapes: Dramatic Personae Saint or Sinha? 10 Taxes We Require 10 Aftershocks In Gujarat The Return Of Are You A Bollywood Buff The Beginner's Guide To Surviving Bombay...er...Mumbai 10 News Reports We Wish We'd Seen In 2000 10 Game Shows For Indian TV Another Indian XI The Indian Internet Irritation 10 Reasons No One Noticed Putin 10 Other Ways To Make Money Off KBC 10 Persons Vajpayee Should Meet In The US The Beginners Guide To Surviving Chennai The Beginners Guide To Surviving Calcutta The Beginners Guide To Surviving Delhi 10 Olympic Events That Should Be Introduced 10 Rules For A Bollywood Blockbuster Fiji:The Ready Reckoner 10 Cyberlaw Proposals That Are Still Pending 10 Deadly Desi Viruses Match Fixing Q&A EZ Stories 4 U 5 Places Bill Should've Gone SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE:
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