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10 Reasons To Boycott The Da Vinci Code Movie
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 1. It’s based on a book. Who reads a book now anyway? Who needs a movie based on a book? Bollywood does this much much better. It simply bases its movies on other movies.2. Jesus Christ is called Jesus Christ and that rankles. Mel Gibson is a very angry man since he put in so much effort trying to convince the world it was Jesus The Christ. 3. It doesn’t help the Indian economy. All the money will go to a major Hollywood studio. So, if you don’t watch the film in a theater and rent the DVD from your local DVD-wallah, who will have the camera print straight from Cannes, you’ll be supporting the Indian economy. 4. Theater owners have not reserved seats for the Other Backward Castes or the Scheduled Castes/Scheduled Tribes. 5. The dictionary describes “Catholic” as “Of broad and liberal scope”. Therefore, the Catholic Church is of broad and liberal scope. And if this institution of liberalism is offended by the film, it obviously is part of vast right-wing conspiracy hatched by the military-industrial complex. 6. Dan Brown already owns half of New Hampshire from the royalties from the book. He doesn’t need to own the rest of New Hampshire from the royalties from the film. 7. The film apparently has a scene of an old naked man. Yuck! And apparently no scenes of a young naked Audrey Tautou. Also, there’s always the danger that Tom Hanks will bare his butt again as he did in Castaway. Yuck! This may appeal to the Brokeback Mountain crowd, but is generally revolting. 8. The National Organization for Albinism and Hypopigmentation in America has protested the fact that the monk-assassin in the film is an albino. “This is the 68th movie since 1960 to feature an evil albino,” the group says. It’s time to stand up for albino rights. The villain should be changed to a green (though normally green not albino green) alien (as in outer space not immigrant) and the film re-released. 9. Despite the film’s reliance on cryptography, it still has not answered that most critical of questions: Why do people still watch Salman Khan’s films? 10. It has no item number. RECENTLY ON JAAL: Bangalore aka Waterlogged It Vill Be Wery Helpful Breast Beating Loving Patient Tourists 'Roids'R'Us Dude, Turbanheads Differ Waves Of Generosity Muslimphobia Musings Queer Queries, Asinine Answers Time To Lighten Up Gandhi Still Leads The Way Outsourcing Our Work To India Expect More Excitement In 2004 Talk Is Cheap A Saint Like No Other Happiness Doesn't Need To Cost Much Goodbye Idibhai Unfinished Business The Worms Rule Pell Mall Who's Afraid Of Sonia G? The Babu Web Election Anthrax Graduate With Osama Slum Chums Dil Chahta Ha Ha Phooling All The People All The Time Achtung! Poleizi! Talks In Fool Swing Musings On Mush Amma Mia Poll Vault: The Rough Guide Delhi's Traffic Jam Being Believed Extinct Exists!! Truth Or Bare Holi Wholly Unholy Asking For The Moon Excise Excise Bush Speechless The Moron's Hack Miss Whirl Chatterbox 6 Chatterbox 5 Chatterbox 4 Chatterbox 3 Chatterbox 2 Chatterbox 1 Cloud Nine The Son Always Shines Glam Slam Autonomy Retort The Sri Lankan Mulberry Bush Take The Green Quiz A Tiger By The Tail 1000000000+ Chandrachud Rereported The Second Coming Of Bill Are You A Bollywood Buff? Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer, humorist and occasional stand-up comedian. A native of India, he grew up in Zambia and moved to the US in the early 1980s. Read his previous columns at http://www.melvindurai.com SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE:
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