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 Chinese President Hu Jintao was recently in India. And he wowed the Indian establishment with his promises to improve relationships with India by providing free chow mien to Kalahandi. As Jintao arrived, the Indian Cabinet wondered what his intentions were. They wondered about Arunachal Pradesh. But Hu set their fears at rest. “We don’t want Arunachal Pradesh. No. We’ll just take the rest of India,” he assured them. But there were fears that the dignitary may be offended by the behaviour of certain Tibetan rabble who were protesting the theft of their country. Hu asked: “What are those protests about? I hope you’re not allowing the Tibetans to rage against the Chinese machine on Indian soil?” “No, no,” Prime Minister Manmohan Singh assured him. “Oh, the protestors in Kingsway Camp were out rallying because their supply of chang had run out.” Sonia Gandhi was especially enamoured of the leader and wanted to impress him with her knowledge of China. “Hong Kong, Ping Pong, King Kong, Bruce Lee, Muesli, Parsley…I know of the rich culture of the Middle Kingdom.” And Railway Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav wanted to impress Hu with his Chinese vocabulary: “I welcome you, Tha Hou.” As the official interpreter pointed out that Tha Hou translated to Big Monkey, Laloo cursed: “I should never have let Nitish Kumar choose a Chinese tutor for me.” Amid the Hu-pla, the Cabinet gathered around the Chinese Prez and serenaded him: (With apologies to The Who) Well, Hu are you? I really wanna know Tell me, Hu are you? 'Cause I really wanna know Who are you? Who, who, who, who? As India’s Ministers were giving voice to their greeting to Beijing (or whatever it is called today, Peiping?), the Communists had no doubts at all that their hero had arrived. And they greeted him with full-throated approval: (With apologies to Whitney Houston) I've got a feeling you're the boy for me I bet your love could set me free I feel a love thing coming on It started weak then got oh, so strong Strong enough to rock the world But as Hu left for Pakistan and promised them a helluva lot more than he would the Indians, all that was left was to stand outside the Chinese Embassy and voice their anguish. (With apologies to Kishore Kumar) Yeh kya Hu? Kaise Hu? Kab Hu? Kyon Hu? Humne jo dekhaa thaa, sunaa thaa Kyaa bataaye wo kyaa thaa Sapna salona thaa Khatam to honaa thaa, Hu. RECENTLY ON JAAL: Pak Exports Unlimited 10 Reasons To Boycott The Da Vinci Code Movie Bangalore aka Waterlogged It Vill Be Wery Helpful Breast Beating Loving Patient Tourists 'Roids'R'Us Dude, Turbanheads Differ Waves Of Generosity Muslimphobia Musings Queer Queries, Asinine Answers Time To Lighten Up Gandhi Still Leads The Way Outsourcing Our Work To India Expect More Excitement In 2004 Talk Is Cheap A Saint Like No Other Happiness Doesn't Need To Cost Much Goodbye Idibhai Unfinished Business The Worms Rule Pell Mall Who's Afraid Of Sonia G? The Babu Web Election Anthrax Graduate With Osama Slum Chums Dil Chahta Ha Ha Phooling All The People All The Time Achtung! Poleizi! Talks In Fool Swing Musings On Mush Amma Mia Poll Vault: The Rough Guide Delhi's Traffic Jam Being Believed Extinct Exists!! Truth Or Bare Holi Wholly Unholy Asking For The Moon Excise Excise Bush Speechless The Moron's Hack Miss Whirl Chatterbox 6 Chatterbox 5 Chatterbox 4 Chatterbox 3 Chatterbox 2 Chatterbox 1 Cloud Nine The Son Always Shines Glam Slam Autonomy Retort The Sri Lankan Mulberry Bush Take The Green Quiz A Tiger By The Tail 1000000000+ Chandrachud Rereported The Second Coming Of Bill Are You A Bollywood Buff? SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE: Email The Editor
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